This week I made the decision to not do Ironman New Zealand. This was after having trained for it for 3 weeks (not that much time I suppose) but in those three weeks the idea of going across the world and pushing myself that far had lodged itself very well into my mindset. I was viewing most of my life through a set of glasses that had a big M-Dot emblazoned across the front. This wasn't a bad thing, but my life for those three weeks was more one dimensional than normal--sleep, homework, train, eat, feel tired...that about covers it.
I decided to opt out of it for a couple of reasons. First was money. Getting ito New Zealand is not cheap! Neither is the race or staying in New Zealand. This will save a lot of money that can be put to good use in other ways, some of them triathlon related, some of them not. Next is the logistics of getting there from my winter work position, wherever that may be. Lastly was the stress. It was wearing me a bit thin, cramming in the workouts around schoolwork and trying to get enough sleep at night. I know that I could have backed off on the number of workouts, but when I do finally complete an Ironman, I want to prepare for it with quality and quantity. My life isn't allowing for that right now.
I wanted to talk a bit about states of mind. This past week my discipline, as far as eating and training goes, went out the window. Holy cow, I pigged out on Halloween candy. I kept telling myself that this was a cathartic experience, and I mowed through the kisses, reese's and twix. It was a cascade of abandoning discipline, and I didn't like it. My impression after this experience is that unfortunately, perhaps the discipline and structure in my life is too fragile. It depends too much upon reaching quotas of workouts and nutrition requirements. So I have been re-evaluating my reasons for pursuing the sport. Hopefuly what I will find is a renewed dedication to the quality-of-life reasons the prime reasons for anyone to compete.
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