Go Chimpy!

Mental Knots

2012-02-07T09:34:00.000-08:00

I'm sure many of you have heard of, or experienced a knot in your back, shoulder, etc. Likewise, you've probably seen products advertised for getting rid of those knots, through a massage, a massage ball, and so forth. As I understand it, a knot occurs when a muscle is contracted, and then stays that way for too long, causing pain.

Often, relief comes in the form of seeking out the muscle knot and then once it is found, applying pressure until it releases. Knots are also called 'myofascial trigger points' and once the 'trigger point' is found, relief soon follows. I've had a few massages to deal with tight/sore muscles, and it's amazing how much difference just a centimeter can make in finding and dealing with those knots.

So that long intro schpeel was to set this post up for my main point: Mental Knots, or what sounds even better: mental trigger points. The idea for this post comes from the following habit in my life: I notice that something feels 'off.' I can't settle, my capacity to do or produce work is limited and it doesn't feel 'right'. Ever had that? Generally, tension builds until I have to release the tension, generally through overeating.

Afterwards, when I sit down and review what happened, I can identify some singular thought, arising from an event, belief, or otherwise, and that's the trigger point. The trigger point works in us to build up tension and stress, even though we're not aware of the source of the stress. It spreads to other aspects of my life, and tends to color more and more of my perception in a negative light. Sometimes, merely identifying the thought is enough to foster relief. I've had experiences like that, wherein I figure out what it was, and immediately feel a sense of relief. Other times, I have to talk it out with someone. My experience has been that frequently, small and seemingly insignificant thoughts or occurrences can build up over time and cause me big problems.

Best thing for me to do, I've learned, is to write afterwards. Sit down and identify what the issue was and then either work forwards or backwards, or maybe both, to connect the present breakdown with the original thought. It's especially important to write down what I thought and what I felt at each stage.

Things I have done this summer

2011-09-03T11:51:00.000-07:00

Climbed Mount Rainier

Rode around Mount Rainier

Rode the North Cascades Highway

Went stand up paddle-boarding

Directed 4 aquathons and 1 triathlon

Learned how to breathe bilaterally

Rode my bike to Bellingham

Ate rillettes for the first time

Officiated at a wedding, unofficially

Went camping a bunch--Eastern WA, Oregon, Bellingham

Finally met the celebrity of celebrities--my animal spirit guide, the orca whale

A Lovely Hike

2011-08-07T15:27:00.001-07:00

I've never gone up to Poo Poo Point on Tiger Mountain, until yesterday. It was absolutely beautiful, all the way up and all the way down. The views weren't bad either. I can't believe I forgot to take a picture at the top! Guess I was too distracted by the beauty that surrounded me.

Absolutely beautiful, Italia

2011-06-12T19:45:00.001-07:00

Bad Habit: Counting Calories

2011-05-26T16:35:00.000-07:00

Don't you love unrelated pictures for blog posts?

Earlier this week, two articles came across my radar about calorie counting and how it is a bad idea. The timing was fortuitous and serendipitous, as the prior few weeks had seen me drifting back into the partner bad habits of counting calories and weighing myself daily.

It is guaranteed that if I start weighing myself every morning and tracking caloric burn vs. intake, sooner or later I will overeat. I'm not saying there's a causal relationship--the habits are outward manifestations of an incorrect mindset--but they add to my anxiety about weight and feed the problem.

Here's what I took away from the two articles:

A. Weenies like to count things. Pounds, calories, watts, whatever. You can't count good habits or character. Those things count for more in the long term AND short term. Don't be a weenie.

B. Simple, not easy: making good choices are easy but sometimes there is a lot of opposition, both internal (habits and their triggers) and external (stress, social situations). If I can consistently pay attention to the following and improve each I can make my nutritional choices virtuous ones:

--sugar

--bad habits and their triggers

--stress

That means reducing sugar, reducing stress, and figuring out my bad habits and taking steps to replace them with good habits. Perfect example: diet soda. I drink too much. What are my triggers? I'll have to start thinking about that. Stay tuned.

1. (Most Important) Calorie counting severs the mind body connection. Listening to my body is replaced by a rule, and the rule is, I must not eat above x number of calories. If I stop listening to my body, I am not taking good care of it.

2. It causes guilt. I start telling myself that I can't or shouldn't eat this food since it has a lot of calories. As you've probably experienced, humans tend to want what they can't have. The more I deny myself a food or food group, the more I want it, and the greater the guilt I feel when eventually I end up eating it. Unfortunately, when I do end up eating it, its way too much! And I feel really bad.

3. It doesn't allow me to enjoy food. Instead of savoring the tasty food, I am just worried about how much of it I can eat. It's even worse if there are no "Nutrition Facts" for the food so it becomes a guessing game and my mind runs away with itself, worrying about just how many calories I am eating.

Don't mind the irregular numbering system but do mind the take away lesson. Don't count calories! It's important for me to have a sense of what 500, 1000, 2000 calories looks like so that I'm nourishing myself but working on my character and habits is a far better way to develop my ideal self (inside and outside) than stressing about calories.

Wildflower 2011 Long Course Race Report

2011-05-01T17:05:00.000-07:00

Not that long ago, though it seemed ages, I found myself in a strange and foreign land. My kin and I had travelled over many leagues and passed through snow, fog, rain, and canine GI distress to arrive on this land's shores. For years, I had heard whisperings and rumbles of speech concerning this people and their ways. Finally, I had arrived to behold for myself the wonders of its hills: Wildflower!

I have been as of late reading The Lost Books of the Odyssey and the style of prose has rubbed off on me, apparent in my introductory paragraph. Great book! Totally unrelated to triathlon, though.

On Thursday, Mike, Shari and I set off from Bellevue for California. I could devote an entire blog just to the trip down and the trip in general, which I will, later. Let's talk about the race, though. First off, amazing vibrations! 8,000 triathletes, vendors, expo, music, beautiful views of Lake San Antonio, professional triathletes, golden hills of central California, pre-race nerves, all swirled together when we arrived on Friday afternoon for packet pick-up. Awesome.

Going into this race, I had mixed expectations. On the one hand, I really had done minimal training in November and December (and absolutely no swimming), and spent most of January with mono and then recovering from mono. By late February, I tested my fitness at an off-road duathlon and I have to say it was a pretty sobering experience--I really was so far away from where I had been in September of 2010. On the flip side, I felt like I had made phenomenal progress in March and April on all three sports, particularly in my bike muscular endurance, swim technique and run strength, courtesy of Tuesday night trail runs. But let's be realistic--8 weeks of solid training is great, but not enough to position me to qualify for ITU World's Long Distance--at Wildflower, that equates to about 4:40-4:45.

Suffice it to say that I tried to not get too focused on qualifying, rather just having a strong, well executed race. I held off on forming a specific time goal until a few miles into the run. That was wise. Wildflower is a tough mother.

The swim is done in waves, many waves--when you have 2,000 starters and the starting area is a boat ramp, it amounts for some close quarters. Not surprisingly, the swim was pretty gnarly. Quite a few hands slithering down my leg, legs kicking in my face, etc. I activated my forcefield, aka aggressive kicking and karate chop freestyle and soon found some clearer water. Honestly, I was a bit surprised to find myself a bit panicky in the first few minutes of the swim--all sorts of negative thoughts were flitting through my mind. But, they passed and I settled into an other-wise unremarkable swim. Smooth and strong, I finished.

Swim time: 28:22, a PR by about 8 seconds.

The bike starts out on a swoopy, kind of bumpy road along the lake before beginning a steady ascent out and away from the lake. I'll say just a few things about the bike course:

Scenic! I love the golden California hills, crested with oaks. I find few vistas as refreshing.

Windy!! There was a pretty fresh breeze--or at least it got fresh with me. For one stretch it had all of us wayyyy leaned over.

Bumpy, very bumpy!!! I'd rename the bike course "How to lower your sperm count through vibration"

Pretty hilly. Nasty Grade wasn't quite the devourer of children and master of chaos that it was in my mind, but still plenty tough, especially at mile 42.

Wattage-heavy. While I did not set any PRs on this bike course, my wattage levels were totally jacked. Haven't downloaded my data yet but I'd venture a guess at 275 AP, 290 NP.

During the bike, my left vastus medialus (the teardrop shaped muscle on your quad) started to really, really hurt. No idea why, but it was like a gnome was perched on my quad and was having a clog party. His clogs had little sharp metal knobs on the soles. And more and more of his gnome dawgs were arriving and joining him in his clog dancing. Their clogs had knobs, too.

Bike time: 2:47:35

Started the run feeling great! And I finished feeling great! Inbetween, I felt like, at various times:

the destroyer of dreams
a limp, dirty sock
a churning, burning, seething beast-man
dust

The run starts out on the same road as the bike starts out on--swoopy and along the lake. Aftera mile or two, during which I attempted to keep my pace above 7:00 min/mile, somewhat successfully, we plunged onto a dusty, windy, hilly trail. Pretty tough going! I walked up some of the steeper hills to preserve my legs for the second half, a strategy that perhaps I employed slightly too much. In general, I didn't feel too hot for the first 6 miles. My mind was shifting into "hey maybe you're not too fast but you're still a good person" shtick.

Something quite remarkable happened; at about mile 7.5, a thousand small, invisible fairies congressed on my person and gave me powers of speed and lightness of being that I had hitherto not felt. Or, it could just be that we hit pavement, the double latte power gel finally kicked in, and I started catching up to some 'pace booty.'

And then I started passing said 'pace booty'! One female pro had her coach riding a bike alongside her. The coach advised, in stroke of brilliance, to "put your head down and run." This struck me with such force as wisdom that I took it upon myself to do just that. So I dropped that female pro and started passing more and more folks. I was churning!

The run course already lends itself pretty naturally to a negative split, but I really felt like my second half was really stellar compared to the first half. Felt great. The last mile or so is one loooong downhill and I did my best to lean forward, windmilll those legs and take advantage of gravity. I tried uber hard to catch this dude in front of me--didn't know if he was in my AG or not--came super close. Turns out he was! Oh well.

The one and only thing that I believe I could have done better on this race was just go a bit deeper into the pain cave. The ability to deal with and embrace the discomfort experienced in hard racing is vital to the pointy end of a field. It's what allows one to push hard in training, so that one is prepared to race fast; and it's what allows an athlete to push past the competition in racing. Physiologically, the pros probably aren't all that different; what allows one to win is that willingness and even eagerness to push, push, push, past pain and discomfort and instincts to back off, retreat, stop, whatever, but rather push to greater and greater effort until it's all been spent and left out on the course. Diatribe aside, looking at my HR data and reviewing the race mentally, I realize that I could have pushed a bit harder at a few key spots. Instead, maybe I went a bit easy on myself. This is something to work on in training--which I can do by simulating race conditions, training with folks who can push me, and building my mental library of positive, virtuous thoughts.

Run time: 1:32:12 Total time: 4:52:17 43rd Overall, 12th in AG.

Here is a link to training peaks file, with timex GPS data and powertap data.

Post-race highlights:

-Meeting my (and pretty much every other guy) crush: Desiree Ficker

-Talking to the folks from Endurance Conspiracy, specifically Tony DeBoom, brother of 2x Ironman World Champion Tim DeBoom and designer of the Pacific Aquathon Series t-shirt

-Catching up with a few peeps from Seattle

-Getting my tan on--side note:: holy crap, Mike got burned.

-Free massage

-In-n-Out burger!! Got them on the drive down to Shari's folks' house.

Finish strong,
Porter

Reset Button

2011-04-25T10:21:00.000-07:00

I should start by saying that the past few months have been a kind of renaissance for me, or in other words, life has been replete with positive changes, progress, new perspectives on life and a flowering of arts and culture.

But we are who we are and sometimes old, bad habits resurface. The past week or two I have found myself indulging in two bad habits--namely, weighing myself too frequently and keeping count of calories. Even as I was doing it, a voice was telling me that this would only end in trouble! And how right I was. When I start putting those numbers in my head, my focus shifts entirely from the appropriate: training well, recovering well, eating well, to the inappropriate: controlling those sets of numbers through my behavior.

No doubt the proximity to a priority race is also having an effect on me. I have had several episodes immediately prior to important races, brought on by the pressure for the race.

So I really should not have been surprised when yesterday I found myself overeating! Bummer. But even as unfortunate as that is, there's a lot more good going on in my life. Hence, while I believe in the importance of talking/writing about our problems, I have found the most effective remedies to feeling down are gratitude, service, and fun. When I'm dealing with something, it's at the forefront on my mind and my thoughts and actions are so entwined in it, it's next to impossible to get perspective on it. I'm so close to it that it takes up my entire field of vision.

Doing something that invokes my gratitude, or that serves someone else, or that is really fun, snaps me out of it and removes me a bit further away from the problem. With some distance, not only does it get smaller, but I can see it as a whole, and see how little it is and how much more capable I am of dealing with it and being okay.

I value the opportunity to unload a bit here, but as I wrote above, gratitude is a much stronger medicine. Here are some of the things that I have that I am grateful for:

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and I have a testimony that Jesus Christ is my savior, and that through his atonement I can return to live with not only him, but with my family.
I have a wonderful family here on earth that cares for me, lives close by, and will always support me and help me.
I am a healthy and strong individual with good teeth and a thick head of hair
I live in the United States of America!
I have a job where I get to do what I want to do, work how I want to, and am free to choose the course for my career. I am passionate about my job.
I have the resources to pursue the great sport of triathlon and get to challenge myself frequently to improve and do the best I can.
I have many wonderful friends who care about me and I care about them.
I am a holder of the priesthood, allowing me to render service unto my fellow church members.
I have been able to have many wonderful experiences through travel, church, service, and general adventures.
I have a roof over my head and a warm bed every night, except when I sleep on the porch. Then it's just a warm bed.
I'm able to pursue significant relationships that give me happiness and fulfillment.

Lastly, I've been listening to this dude a bit lately--Charles Bradley. He's in his 60s and just put out his first record??? This guy blows my mind, this song blows my mind. SOUL!

Lake Sammamish Half Marathon Race Report

2011-03-26T14:09:00.000-07:00

The morning dawned bright and clear

despite the intensities of last night's festivities,

I was ready to run the fastest half of my career

as it tends to go with my proclivities.

Earlier this week, somewhat on a whim, I decided to do Evergreen Trail Run's Lake Sammamish Half Marathon. The course starts out at Lake Sammamish State Park, at the south end of the lake and ends at Marymoor Park at the north end of the lake. Uber flat and uber fast. This is the second year of the event and looks like it is fast becoming a very popular race, congrats to Roger Michel and his crew for a great race.

My strategy was pretty simple, start out at around 7:00 min/mile pace and see what happens. I told myself that it would be really tactically smart to not start at the very front, rather start a little further back and reel in a few people. Going into the race, I really wanted to beat my PR and go under 1:27, but I knew that I wasn't in the same kind of shape as at Black Diamond, where I had set the prior PR.

My plan was to take the first 2 miles a bit easier and then pick it up gradually over the course of the race. You can see my HR and pace data here. Thanks to The Balanced Athlete, I know know my AeT (aerobic threshold) and was careful to keep my HR under AeT for the first 6 miles or so, to avoid fading in the second half. You can see that my HR steadily climbs for the entire race while my pace wavers a bit. I consider a successful endurance race on in which I steadily build my effort, so I call this one a success!

Uhhh okay now for the emotional side of things. This race was absolutely awesome!! I had a great song in my head:

As I sat in the car I started to channel a bit of angry energy and thought 'hmmm maybe I could use this in the race'. I've done it before, it works, up to a point, but experience has taught me that too much emotion in a race uses up just as much energy as a crappy stride. So I just tried to be present for the whole race and stay mentally positive by keeping tabs on which way my thoughts were heading--and quickly turning them around when they started going you-know-where.

I passed a few people and ended up in 4th place OA, 1st place AG. The top 3 runners got gift certificates for a basket of vegetables--so maybe if I had known that I would have picked up that extra 10 seconds and got 3rd! Results are here. 1:26:33, average pace 6:36.

Maybe my favorite part of a race is afterwards when you get to see lots of peeps that you know, talk, revel in the post-race high, snack on some delicious food (there was PIZZA at the finish line!!!) and catch up. There is SUCH a good vibe at a finish line, I love it.

Well now I've got some dogs to babysit. Have a great weekend!

http://www.evergreentrailruns.com/race-results/LkSamm0326Prelim.pdf

Reggae Nights

2011-02-26T18:58:00.000-08:00

I didn't take the picture. But this was where the race was today. It was a pretty cool setting. Just imagine the above with a lot of cream frosting. or snow.

Today! It's a day. And you are going to read about it.

Started off COLD and early. My new found buddy Erik DeRoche, who is a part of the ESNW network of coaches, drove down all the way from Bellingham to do a race in Fort Steilacoom, which is south of Tacoma, wow that's a lot of driving. The night before the race I called him with a 11th hour request for a bike to use for the race and he came through!

So we got there. Cold cold cold but the sun was out which helped a bit. Did I mention cold. The folks were there too, glad they came. They are 28x more studly than any other sextagenarians that I know. The race was a 5k run/15 mile (3x5 mile loop)/5k run offroad duathlon put on by my friend Roger at 4th Dimension Racing along with another excellent dude, Kevin Reinkensmeyer, with whom I had chatted several times but finally got to meet in person.

With a PRE-race raffle (that's different, normally raffles are before the race..interesting..) out of the way we started the 5k. Pretty soon into it my lack of fitness (relatively speaking) and maybe a hard week of training became apparent and I knew I should just make it a fun day out of it. Or rather, not focus on trying to beat other people but just enjoy the experience. The run course was really flat, except for one short, steep, sweet hill. Got the run done, started the bike.

I like to think of the bike portion as a learning experience; I learned that:

1. Look Keo pedals SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK as mtb pedals, especially in the snow/mud. I just could NOT get my cleats back into the pedals. Not without manually cleaning them out.

2. My bike handling skills are often exceeded by my enthusiasm for speed.

3. I may have cussed a bit. At the aforementioned pedal situation. I ended up falling over/sideways more than I would numerically care to admit.

The course was what I would call tastefully technical; enough to make it pretty interesting but not so much that it was killing me. After two loops, unfortunately my steed faltered and I also realized that were I to complete the 3rd loop I would be really late getting back for stuff in the afternoon. Coming into the transition area, I found my folks, they had decided that one loop was good enough for them. So I ran a little bit, but my calf felt like there was a bee sting (weird...we'll see if that comes back) on it and I realized Erik was going to finish soon. So I headed back and yup about 7 minutes later he comes in and wins! Nice work Erik.

What else about the day...I discovered this book which looks really really funny. I have a new movie to watch, Bright Star. It's about John Keats. We did a big unit on Keats' poetry in 11th grade english and I really dug his work then. Man, I was so....melodramatic then. Maybe this'll rekindle some of it.

And as to Reggae Nights, I discovered a burned CD I have consisting exclusively of lots and lots of Reggae. Awesome.

Not with a bang, but a whimper

2011-02-21T08:01:00.000-08:00

This is a cool picture I took at Martha's Vineyard way back in aught-2.

As any of you who regularly read this blog already knows, the past few years have seen me go through a regular cycle of overeating. After learning more about it, if you wanted to put a label on my problem, it would be 'exercise induced bulimia.'

As time wore on, depression became more and more overeating's companion. Needless to say, this really, really, really interfered with my life. This was most apparent when I was obliged to not compete in Ironman Florida, which was to be the crowning achievement of my 2010 season.

It didn't take me that long to realize that the overeating was a big problem, and that to overcome it, I would need help. I spent a lot of time casting about for a solution that would give me not only lasting respite from the bouts of overeating but provide a new worldview. Specifically, one that would allow me to see myself in a more positive light, allow me to see myself as fundamentally good. Somewhere along the way I lost a view of myself as a good guy. I felt like I had some integral character flaw. It was like a shimmering blurriness at the corner of my vision; I always felt it, but if you tried to look straight at it, it evaporated. Conveniently, it could take on different forms, adapting itself to the situation. It could take the form of a social shortcoming, a professional deficiency, or just a basic inability to be a kind, good person. Looking at this shape-shifting self-slander (double word score alliteration!) I can see that it's really pretty baseless, false, and just plain BAD. bad bad bad.

Well, the thing about all of those avenues of help is that all of them, through no fault of their own, kind of fed into that negative view I had of myself. They inflated my view of the problem until it seemed like I would have to go through some painful self-exorcising so that these flaws could be brought to the surface, examined, and then removed. But here's the thing: nobody's perfect! We've all got flaws! I do, you do, everybody does. I was focusing my attention on removing these flaws with grandiose views of plans, steps, programs, all designed to fix what was wrong with me. In reality, what needed to be removed was not the problems (we've got a loooong time to work on our imperfections) but the idea that the problems needed to be removed to overcome overeating and to be happy.

So I'm here to tell you that things are going tremendously well, eating wise. I still feel pangs now and then to revert to old habits but they're pretty easy to keep under control. Actually, really easy. Who knows if they will ever really go away. And really, it was such simple change that I made, but I had to go through a lot to gain the perspective that allowed me to understand how and why to make the change.

Also, I am no longer engaged. Life happens.

Okay, enough baring of the soul. This is a really funny video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gspaoaecNAg

cross pollination

2011-02-08T21:36:00.001-08:00

Hi. I now have a total of 4 blogs. That's a lot to maintain. So maybe now I am going to be more efficient and repost stuff here. Here is one. Enjoy it. Read it. Tell me about it.

I am engaged!

2010-12-16T10:28:00.000-08:00

Not much more to say!

I'm the only mormon triathlon coach race director triathlete. in the world.

2010-11-21T17:49:00.000-08:00

It's got to be true.

How many mormons are there in the world? Like 15 million?

And of those, how many do triathlons? In my experiences, in a ward of maybe 100 people, you will have perhaps 2-3 that regularly participate and another maybe 5 that have done one at some point or another.

So let's be generous and say 10% of the LDS population participates, which is definitely an overestimate, as I am confident that church members in places like Brazil and Bolivia are participating at a lower rate in triathlons, since the sport is just not as well-established in such locales. Since less than one half of the church population resides in America, let's put it at 1 million.

That gives us 1 million mormon triathletes. Out of that 1.5 million, how many are experienced enough (and ludicrous) to contemplate a side job of coaching? In my experience, the ratio of coaches per participants--and I mean earnest coaches, who are trying to make a living, with credentials, experience, etc--is perhaps 1 out of every 50 triathletes. That means 20,000 mormon triathlon coaches. That seems very, very high, as I've yet to meet or hear of any other mormon coaches. But, let's move on.

Here's the kicker. The race director/coach thing seems to mutually exclusive. The race directors I've met are not coaches, and vice versa. Furthermore, the ratio of race directors is way, way lower than that of coaches--perhaps 1 race director for every 500 athletes. Which means there might be as many as 2000 mormon race directors (who are also athletes themselves).

And I've got to be, just got to be the only individual that has one foot in the 2,000 strong mormon race director pool and the other foot in the 20,000 strong mormon triathlon coach pool. I am the venn diagram. I am the only mormon triathlon coach race director triathlete, IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!

Set sail with CAPTAIN JACK’S 8K

2010-11-18T08:48:00.001-08:00

Have you ever wanted to be a pirate? Many of us have at one time or another harbored a secret or not-so-secret desire to don a tri corner hat and fake missing appendages in the name of channeling our inner privateer. But, maybe we've had some misgivings about the less flashy side of things--pillaging, murdering, and living life in a wine-red haze of indistinct anger towards 'the establishment.' Maybe, we've dreamed of being a pirate, but with a higher purpose, and maybe with a diet that's more varied than salt pork, hard tack, and small sea birds that wander too close.

Your days of wondering are over. Captain Jack is here, and he wants YOU to run in his 8k race on Sunday April 10th to help combat the negative image of pirates with the fine citizens of Kirkland, and more importantly, to raise money to pillage and destroy Lymphoma and Leukemia, by working with the Lymphoma and Leukemia Society. All net proceeds will be donated to the LLS from Captain Jack's 8k. Furthermore, participants can donate or raise additional funds to donate to the LLS through Captain Jack's 8k.

We set sail on Sunday, April 10th at 8:30 am, but would-be corsairs should make sure to show up well before hand for time to be entered into the ship's logs and to consort with their fellow conscripts. But, ye must hoist your flag with us beforehand, as there will be no day of race registration. So, steer your laptop/desktop/notebook/wireless device or diminutive dingy to www.btomultisports.com for more information and online registration. Or, if ye be possessed of the courage, show your ugly mug in person at Everyday Athlete, which may not be in Tortuga but isn't a bad place to rest your boots for a spell:

Everyday Athlete
11829 98th Ave NE
Kirkland, WA 98115

Be assured that ye must register afore January 1st to receive a technical training shirt, for ye lubbers that register after will receive a cotton t-shirt.

Ahoy me hearties, come set sail with Captain Jack for a morning of adventure!

Step 1: Honesty

2010-11-18T08:02:00.001-08:00

The above picture really doesn’t have anything to do with the post, it’s just a picture of a swimming hole in Baja California del Sur that I remember with particular fondness. I was speaking with someone in Mexico today (skype is awesome!) and was recalling my trip there a few years ago. Must go back someday. It’s a good reminder that there’s a whole world out there.

The first principle in my recovery program is to admit that I have a problem. Specifically, that I am powerless over bulimia (not just food in general—important distinction to be made later on) and that my life has become unmanageable.

It’s hard enough to type those words out, and it’s even tougher to say them out loud. It’s hard for me to admit that I am absolutely no match for bulimia. I have always derived a good portion of my sense of self-identity from my ability to do and to be better than challenges that came my way. I also identified myself as a strong, determined person who could grit their teeth and get through a lot of stuff.

Not surprisingly, having to admit that I have let the simple process of nourishment get so out of whack that it ruined IM FL, that it caused me so much anguish, sadness and depression…it’s tough to swallow. But, it’s part of honesty. I’ve been far more open and honest with others about my eating disorder than ever before, now I just need to be more open and honest with myself. Admitting to someone that I have bulimia is pretty easy in comparison to telling myself, and believing, that I am powerless over it.

But, it’s true.

And as I stated above, it’s not just food, or rather, overeating. It’s also what I do when I’m not overeating—restricting calories in an effort to lose weight fast. Those two opposite ends of the spectrum are killer. Together, they are bulimia.

Something that goes hand in hand with all this is pride and humility. As a Latter-Day Saint, luckily I already have what I consider to be a decent relationship with my higher power—namely, my Heavenly Father.

Transitions, Triathlon and Otherwise

2010-11-08T18:54:00.001-08:00

Let me just say, I am really good at T2. Not that bad at T1, but really really good at T2. I mean, look at this picture below, both feet are in the air! I love the sensation of the flying dismount and when my legs have to just start moving like mad as soon as I hit the ground.

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Okay so after that small bit of self-glorification...this post is about what's been going on with me lately. And the answer is, plenty! First off, I didn't race at Ironman Florida. This was a very bitter decision for me. A lot was built up upon the outcome of that race. I was looking forward to getting a slot at Kona, getting a good placing in my age group to help with sponsorship recruitment for next year's season, and a good outcome at the race was going to feel like a victory over disordered eating, and vindication from 2009's malaise.

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A few weeks before the race, everything just kind of went into meltdown. I had allowed bad habits from the past to creep in until I was obsessing about weight, calories burned, calories consumed, and how I was going to micromanage every little decision so that I could continue eating "guilt-free" the foods that I craved. This led me to a bad place, one in which my desire to train or race completely evaporated, and I was faced with the tough decision to:
Race, without my head and heart there, and try to get through it, or....not race, and have to explain to everyone why I wasn't racing. This would pretty much oblige me to tell a lot of people about my eating disorder.

I chose the latter, as I realized that it was completely my decision. As soon as I did, I felt a huge sense of relief. Now, I've learned from past experience that when I'm feeling trapped between a rock and a hard place, I tend to look for the easy way out, paint it in rosy tones, and put off dealing with reality of the situation. Knowing that, I was cautious to jump to this decision. But after about 48 hours of mulling it over, I settled on my decision and began to let people know.

Never before had my eating disorder interfered with my life in such a dramatic way. It was a pretty big wake-up call, and because of it, I am making a greater effort than ever before to get help. I've started going to a recovery program, but I'm also trying to spend more time with friends and just be more open about the eating disorder.

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BTO Multisports is thriving! We have a big season planned for next year. First bit of news is that Golden Bear is not going to be managed by BTO next year. This decision was based upon the following:
1. not a local race--BTO is focused upon the PNW
2. I'm not personally invested in any of the race's components
3. the local parks district is pretty pissy and is making it pretty tough to put on a race.

Next, we are hiring! BTO is happy to be working with local multisport athlete Andrew Fast as Marketing/Sponsorship Manager. I met Andrew at Chelanman this past year, and we kept in touch. We are definitely on the same wavelength with goals and vision for BTO, so it's going to be great, having his help in making our sponsors happy and getting the word about all of BTO's races for next year....which are quite a few:

1. 5 Mile Lake Women's Triathlon: This race is undergoing a transfer of management from local multisport race directing company BUDU Racing to BTO. BTO will retain BUDU as the rental/timing company for the race. Go girls! The race will be on June 18th, 2011 and will kick ass.

2. Pacific Aquathon Series: The Islander is getting a few brothers! There will be two Islander Aquathons, two Seward Park Aquathons, plus a Squidman Aquathon down in my old high school era stomping grounds of Des Moines. And maybe a sixth at Gene Coulon. The first event will be the Islander Aquathon, round one, on Wednesday, July 20th and then every other Wednesday night for 8 weeks. Squidman will be Saturday, August 20th.

3. Captain Jack's 8k! Everyday Athlete has contracted BTO to put on a running race on Sunday (dang it Sabbath Day! :-( April 10th. It will be an 8k and will be a lot of fun. Registration will be opening soon.

We are also looking to hire an assistant race director...if you're interested, contact me at porter@btomultisports.com and I can send you a description of the position.

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Coaching! I am (and have been for a wee bit) a USAT certified Level I triathlon coach. I will be working with Endurance Sports Northwest as a coach. I am really pleased with the people that I've met from ESNW--the athletes, the coaches, the management. I am excited to be a part of the group and the benefits that will come to my athletes. Lots more to come about ESNW in the future...

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My boss (bless his heart) has given me a 35 day vacation to Europe! What a great guy. On November 30th I will be leaving on a jet plane, destination: Madrid, mission: exult in Jennifer Johnson's company. It is going to be GREAT! We are going to go to Portugal (fala portuges eh meu peixe?) for 6 days for some mountain biking, sightseeing, and thermal bathing. Then, for Christmas, we will be going to....France! I am going to eat all manner of cheese and sausage.

On the way back from Europa, I'll be stopping in Boston to visit my best of friends, Cari and her fiance, Jack. They are getting married in August in Seattle. Awesome.

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As is befitting the title of this blog, these past few weeks have seen a big transition for me. BTO + coaching, now that most of my home projects are done (removing popcorn ceiling…yum) is becoming a full-time pursuit for me and I am settling into my role within the company. Hiring other people makes it feel pretty valid. It’s been my dream for a good long while to be in a position of freedom to choose where to invest my time and energy. Now that I’m here, of course it’s not the magical dreamland Porter imagined, but it’s pretty good.

Things are going well, really well, with J. That’s all I will say out here in the public domain.

I realize that as the head honcho of BTO and my career, I’ve got to be exceptionally smart in my business decisions. In my job, there’s pretty much none of the career-guiding infrastructure that is present in other pursuits…teaching, engineering, and medicine are some good examples.

For example, how much do I split my time between coaching and race directing?

How do I strike the proper balance between enough growth to keep BTO profitable while maintaining the quality of the racing experience?

Good questions that I am sure will be answered in time and with experience. However, what prompted this blog post was the following point: I got into this gig because I wanted a job that:

let me work on something I was passionate about
gave me flexibility and freedom to pursue my own career as an athlete, especially as a family comes along later
would put me in charge

I read Gordo’s latest blog post and it got me thinking (I love the way that guy things) about where I want to invest my time and energy. My favorite line from the post is: “my investments exist to support the life I want to lead.” Even something as great as BTO exists just to allow me to support the above goals. And those goals above exist to help make me happy. So there.

Another sentiment I got from the post is that ‘there will always be money, it always just boils down to time and energy.’ Thinking that way makes me realize that to be successful, you’ve got to parse the important and supportive from the irrelevant and unsupportive. Things that help me and are worth my time and energy are friendships, Jennifer, helping friends and family, faith, God, working on my house, building BTO, feeding my family and myself healthily, and training/racing. I’m well invested in all of those, and some of them are definitely, to borrow a phrase from the media “too big to fail”; others, if they fail, I can survive, but there are definitely more of the former.

Thanks for reading! Remember we’re all in this together.

Chimpy Speaks: PowerBar Recovery Bar

2010-10-11T18:22:00.001-07:00

This is the official start to my "Chimpy Speaks" product review series. I make no claims as to having any particular credentials to review a product, aside from experience.

Product Name: Powerbar Recovery Bar

Price: 15.99 for a box of 15 on Amazon, ~1.75 per bar

Manufacturer: Nestle

Powerbar had a presence at my recent race, the Islander Aquathon, and as such I was lucky enough to receive a box of one of Powerbar's latest products, the Recovery Bar. Powerbar, much like Gatorade, has adopted a 1-2-3 cachet of products designed for 1.) pre-exercise/workout 2.) during exercise and 3.)post-exercise/workout. There are two flavors:

1.) Peanut Butter Caramel Crisp

2.) Cookie's and Cream Caramel Crisp

Clearly, the caramel people have good lobbyists.

I took advantage of a glorious long-run post-workout glycogen window to try out one of these bars. My first thought was ++++REESE'S PEANUT BUTTER CUP+++++. It seemed that Powerbar had somehow injected a bit of crack and through some food manufacturer cross-pollination, some Hershey's Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Heavens, it was tasty.

Did it help my recovery? Hell if I know. I was taking an ice bath while eating the thing. And without an honest-to-goodness standardized tests, you can't really say anything beyond the anecdotal. But, we can take a look at the ingredient list and go from there:

CHOCOLATEY COATING (SUGAR, FRACTIONATED PALM KERNEL OIL, COCOA, WHEY, NONFAT MILK, SOY LECITHIN, NATURAL VANILLA FLAVOR), TRISOURCE™ PROTEIN BLEND (WHEY PROTEIN ISOLATE, CALCIUM CASEINATE, SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE), GLUCOSE SYRUP, CARAMEL (CORN SYRUP, SUGAR, CREAM, WATER, FRUCTOSE, PALM OIL, SOY LECITHIN, SALT, SODIUM PHOSPHATE, NATURAL FLAVOR, CARRAGEENAN), MALTODEXTRIN, GLYCERIN, COOKIE BITS (RICE FLOUR, SUGAR, CANOLA OIL, ALKALIZED COCOA, RICE STARCH, BAKING SODA, SALT), HIGH OLEIC CANOLA OIL, EVAPORATED CANE JUICE SYRUP, SOY CRISPS (SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE, TAPIOCA STARCH, SALT), NATURAL FLAVOR, SOY LECITHIN, SALT, ALMOND BUTTER, PEANUT FLOUR.

Holy cannoli. Let's see the good and the bad:

Good:

Whey, Whey Protein Isolate (protein, good for recovery as the bar intends to do)

Glucose Syrup: Need to replenish those glycogen stores

Fructose: Always better to get your glycogen from a variety of sources instead of just one

Salt: you lose it when you sweat.

Maltodextrin: again, variety of carbohydrate sources

Almond Butter: almonds are good for you!

Bad:

Fractionated Palm Kernel Oil: two reasons; one is that a lot of rainforest is being burned to plant palm trees in order to harvest the oil, and second is that as a general rule of thumb, the more processing (fractionated?), the less the stuff is good for you

Soy: processed soy reduces testosterone !

Corn Syrup: see my above comment on palm kernel oil

Peanut Flour: Not only are peanuts not necessarily the heart-healthy manna some people think, a lot of folks are allergic to them, they've got aflatoxins. Don't ask me, but I trust this guy. Next, let's look at the nutritional information:

kCal:	250
Fat, g:	9
Saturated Fat, g:	4.5
Protein, g:	12
Carb, g:	30
Sugar, g:	19

Nothing really crazy there.

So, bottom line: They are really, really tasty. But, given the number of non-whole food ingredients, and the ease with which one might overconsume them due to their extreme tastiness, I would say in a pinch, they're great for recovery after a intense and/or long (2+ hours), but if you've got 10 minutes to put together some real food or a healthier alternative, go for the latter.

Big day on Thursday!

2010-10-05T17:18:00.001-07:00

SWIM
Warm-Up with...
400 relaxed swim every 4th length non-free
300 Steady (use paddles if you use gear)
200 Build
100 Kick
All the above on 15s RI
+++
Spend a little time thinking about what will be a reasonable effort and pace target for the main set. Start at an effort that enables you to swim strong and have your best 100s at the end.
+++
600 Steady
3x200 Fast
6x100 Best Average Pace
6x50 Easy
400 Steady
2x200 Fast
4x100 Best Average Pace
4x50 Easy
All of the above on 10s RI
All 50s are done on a send off that gives 15s rest when swimming EASY
+++
Cool Down

BIKE
Five hours - flat as possible with minimal stops, eat and drink at race levels
190/195/200/205/210 - by hour
When you report back note AP/NP - avg HR - max HR - avg speed // for each hour

RUN
Transition to a 10K run with HR at the bottom of your steady zone -- check pace from 3-10K. Start really relaxed for the first 2K - don't worry about pace/HR for those 2K.

+++

A tale of 3 rides

2010-10-04T18:26:00.001-07:00

As part of my training for IM FLORIDA, I've done a few big rides. By the way, the above picture has nothing to do with the content of this post. I just like it. It's from back in the day, 4th of July Tri in Elma, circa 2006. It's a reminder to me of how far I've come. Back then, the idea of an IM was so remote as to be laughable. So, all you folks out there that say "I can't" well you're wrong. You can. Get it through your head, and life will be far more rewarding.

Three rides in particular I'd like to discuss, and the pacing/power numbers for them. Here are the rides, simply by the numbers:

August 7th:

Duration: 5:50:45

Distance: 100.28

Average Power: 177 watts

Normalized Power*: 195

*explanation of what this is.

September 10th:

Duration: 5:30:51

Distance: 90.34

Average Power: 177 watts

Normalized Power*: unavailable :-(

October 1st:

Duration: 6:06:55

Distance: 118.65

Average Power: 176

Normalized Power*: 189

So from the numbers you might conclude that I haven't really gotten any stronger or fitter at long rides. Honestly, I don't know myself--that would require a bit of formalized testing. However, with an n=1 experiment of the Black Diamond Half from last week, where average power = 278 and normalized was 290 for 2:25:49, I certainly feel like I'm as strong as I've ever been. Strong enough that my wattage numbers surprised me at the race.

But so much of long course tri is pacing. This is something that has been reinforced again and again by Gordo's coaching. So, let's look at the general wattage trends for the three rides:

August 7th:

September 10th:

October 1st:

Look at the three rides....what do you think of my pacing? There is a big up down near the middle of Oct 1st, that was when I had to climb up a highway overpass because of a deceitful road. But what's the general trend? Getting stronger, maybe, or at least maintaining a somewhat even power profile. Look at the other two and there is a lot more variability (partially because I was on mostly flat roads for Oct 1st) and a general tapering off.

Why is this important? This tells me that while I may not be putting out more watts, I am getting stronger as the ride progresses, and that had I run a marathon off the tail end of these three rides, the Oct 1st marathon would have been a heckuva lot better, since I had a lot left in the tank. That's something important to grasp in IM training; it's not necessarily who has the fastest bike split, it's the smartest bike split.

Auxiliary blog is functional

2010-10-03T11:17:00.000-07:00

I have decided to make a new blog, consisting entirely of pictures of I take from a bicycle. Enjoy it.

Cube of Food

2010-10-02T17:25:00.000-07:00

Technically it's a rectangular prism of biodegradable waste. But that's less fun to say.

Never heard of a no outlet sign eh??

2010-10-01T17:58:00.000-07:00

I hate you Old Tester Road. You obliged me to climb up to a freeway overpass. Bleah!!!

Fair food!

2010-09-30T22:24:00.000-07:00

They say that fair food is ridiculous!

I wish you were here!

2010-09-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

Behold the might Snoqualmie!

I found a castle.

2010-09-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

Totally legit good sir? Where be the ale and minstrel?

Toadstool

2010-09-29T10:50:00.000-07:00

A Good Day at Black Diamond

2010-09-26T07:05:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well, what a great day! I often struggle with writing about experiences like this--they are intense, and I really want the reader to gain an appreciation for the experience, which is often difficult to put into words.There are a couple of things I like about the Black Diamond Triathlon (and a few I don't).

One: Super close by

Two: Inexpensive

Three (best of all): Starts at a civilized time in the morning, 9 am.

I should also add that I did this race 2 years ago in prep for Florida. Doing it again now serves as an excellent benchmark. Then, I did the race in 4:59:599999999, this time it was 4:24:3.1415926535... Hopefully that improvement extrapolates to Florida. Then, I did it in 9:38.111111, and this time around I am hoping for 9:15 or so. We shall see! I am excited!

So race morning I slept in until 6:20, whoo boy. Drove to race. Got set up. Ran into Mike and Bob Satko, Eric Sach, said hello. Got set up, went to lake. Brrr. The "race briefing" was ridiculous. Some disembodied voice (couldn't see the man that was talking) who apparently went to the "Grandpappy's School of Race Announcing" going on and on and on about wayyy too much. Nobody was paying much attention, not surprisingly. Did a more extensive warm-up than normal, at Gordo's advice. Had my normal super quick prayer before the start and poof! The scene dissolved and suddenly I was floating above my body, looking down. The spirit of a horse/tiger had entered my body. I was certainly surprised. So for the next 4.5 hours or so I watched "Higger" as I came to call him speedily complete all three sports. Once he was done, I found myself sucked back into my body. Perfect. hahahahaha.

Naw, fo' realz, the swim was good. It's a two loop swim. I started pretty relaxed--my HR at the start was a "calm" 90, not the racing 125 from Ironman Brazil. I found some feet pretty easily and rode them for most of the first lap. My path kept veering to the left, as per my tendency, so the mental dialogue was often:

Voice 1: "time to sight...."

Voice 2: "hmmmm looks like we're going to the left. That's funny!"

Voice 1: "well then pull to the right to compensate!!"

Voice 2: "um, okay. now are we on course? Let's lo

ok....yup looks good"

-----5 second intermission------

Voice 2: "I think we're swimming straight."

Voice 1: "No we're not! Swimming 'straight' is actually swimming left! compensate!!!"

Voice 2: "okay geez calm down..."

First loop was done in 14:10 or so, excellent I thought. Swam mostly solo second loop and was concerned about swimming through all the women that started after us but actually not too bad. Swim time was 28:24.

Funny face time.

Started the bike...nothing unusual there. Started watching the watts and SWEET CASTILLIAN BULL! the numbers were ridiculous. Take it easy there, turbo. You cannot hold 310 watts for 56 miles. I reduced my rate of perceived effort, but the numbers still seemed way too high. My heartrate was pretty low, 154, given the watts. But a post-race inspection confirms that the unit was still zeroed correctly, so apparently my diet of lion's heart had paid off.

Average watts: 278 w

Normalized power: 290 w

Work: 2375 kJ

Average speed: 23.01 mph

Time: 2:24:56

TSS: 202.4

Inverse of the regressive modulation: freaking awesome

It's funny the things that get stuck in your head during repetitive actions. Today's ride featured predominantly a classic rock soundtrack, mostly "Green River" by CCR:

During the ride I was keeping tabs on who was ahead of me; fortunately there are a few little out and backs in which to do so. I saw 4 dudes ahead of me, however there was a duathlon going on at the same time, so I had no way of knowing who was in the tri. But, I felt pretty confident that I could run down 4 dudes. I knew the guy in the lead, and that the swim/bike was his strength, so I wasn't too worried. What concerned me more was some super-runner catching up. However at this point I simply told myself "you can win today. you are going to win today. someone is going to win, it might as well be you."

I should also add that this was one of the few times I have gone to a race 'by myself.' I.e., no family/close friends came with me. But that's not really true...the Satkos are a wonderful family that I've known for a long time, my buddy Mike Satko was racing and his dad and wife came out to watch, so really I was not by myself. Bob Satko is one of the most enthusiastic one-man cheering squads I have ever seen! I looked forward to going past them for all the encouragement they gave. Shari snapped some awesome pictures too.

I have a standing invitation to go the Satkos for their famous viewing of BYU football games...never been much of a football fan but I daresay I shall take them up on their offer. Apparently they have an entertainment system to rival ancient Roman theater. I'm sure that once I see it all I will think about it how it make such a great spot for trainer rides...

My legs felt a bit 'meh' at the end of the bike. I knew that I had a sked a lot of Joachim* and Boaz* and they were in a bit of pain at the bike, but I kept telling myself "that is not fatigue that is the feeling of AWESOME."

Started off the run and I could tell it was going to be good. My plan was to start off around 160 bpm, run the first 7-8 miles, keeping HR around 165, then start lifting it the last 10k. Form felt great and I was keeping tabs on the leader, who started with a 2:30 lead, but by mile 3 it was down to 1:50 and then by mile 5 it was 25 seconds...and then I caught him. Wow! I was in the lead. What does it feel like, I had wondered many times in the past. It felt like...I was running really hard. Pretty much it. And little fairies appeared on my shoes and made me continue to run fast. Per Gordo's recommendations, I inserted a few 10-15 second speed walking breaks. The point is to give your muscles a very brief chance to recover, let HR drop a bit, especially up hills when running is kind of pointless. Verdict: felt good.

As the miles ticked past, I monitored for anybody catching up...looking good. With about 3.5 miles left I really picked it up a bit, HR was now 178 or so. Form started to degrade a bit, tried to keep it together. I just tried to stay in the moment, focus on the running and "the sensation of peak effort" or "the pain cave" as I like to call it. HR kept rising, with 2 miles left it was at 181. The last 1.5 miles or so is around the lake which is a huge contrast to the prior 10.5 miles. Instead of open, asphalt roads, it's closed in forest, up and down and up and down, and you can't tell how far you are from the finish, so mentally it's a bit more challenging. My speed dropped a bit due to the trail surface but I kept up the effort and as I crossed the finish line I sped up for a strong finish and was so HAPPY!!!

Run time: 1:27:56

At the awards ceremony they gave me a plaque, wheeee. But, there were these delicious looking loaves of bread as well. So I asked about those, and askandyoushallreceive, got one. Yum. Thanks to my folks for believing in me, thanks to the Satkos for the support, thanks to my bike for being so purty, and to anyone who has ever had to wait around for me to take my 3rd shower of the day, put on strange, incredibly high socks and then have to stop numerous times for food/potty breaks, (you know who you are!) thanks!

See, I am waving at you!

*left leg's name

*right leg's name

Things I saw today

2010-09-10T19:00:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh the big day of training. Here's the short version:

45 minute swim in Lake Washington (sleeveless wetsuit season is OVER)

5:00 hour bike ride around...places

:30 minute badass run

Here's the long version. Yesterday I was supposed to have this big day of training. Actually, it was supposed to be the day before that, but it

was rainy and cold and as a man of leisure I can reschedule. So I did. I got all my stuff together (yesterday) and headed off to Pine Lake. Did my swim...brrr water but it wasn't that bad. There are SO MANY snails on the bottom of Pine Lake. Lines, everywhere. Here's the swim:

You can see that while you think you are going straight, you're not.

So I get out, brrr, and go to car to (slowly) change. Ahh

h crap forgot running shoes. So I head back home, irked. Get home; I'm cold. So, why not lie down and warm up...hey look at that a nap! Spontaneous, that

hasn't happened in a while. I guess I needed it so I figure hey why not have another crack at the whole thing tomorrow.

This time it's off to Lake Washington. Colder? Yes. Choppier? Yes. Open to motorized traffic? Yes. Potentially more interesting/closer? Ah, yes. Swim:

I definitely considered entering the "yuppy Venice" but decided against it, there's probably some dude with a gun or something I figured. And the wind was picking up out of the south so it seemed prudent to head back. I hopped on the bike and proceeded to ride 90 miles or so down to Enumclaw and back. I have never ridden through

downtown Enumclaw; delightful. I also rode the Black Diamond triathlon course, which has this one spot where I swear there is more gravity, just like The Spot in Santa Cruz. You are wailing out the watts, and going 14 mph, and it's barely uphill. It bothers me every time.

I get back to house, change into running shorts (ahhhh) and bang out 3.5 miles in record-breaking pace. The question "do you feel like running 26 miles right now?" shortly followed by "what about 26.2 miles???" bounces around my h

ead for a while. Honestly, I felt like I could do it. Legs felt better and better as the run progressed. It's great doing IM Florida again, as I can compare myself now to myself 2 years ago, getting ready for the same race. I am stronger, smarter, and...uh....wiser. I'm even doing the same race (Black Diamond 1/2) in 2 weeks as prep, which will serve as an excellent benchmark for progress. I expect to do well there.

Uhhh...what else. I rode my road bike down to my par

ked car, still at Newcastle Beach Park, in my running shorts. (short shorts). Unsightly and I'm sure I incurred the scorn of a few cyclists I passed but whateva. It's all done. I was somewhat dreading this big day of training, mostly because of the cold, and the prospect of staying mentally 'there' for nearly 7 hours but as usual, I surprised myself.

One footnote: apres-ride, I always like to alleviate chafing with Gold Bond Medicated Powder. In the green bottle. It is, without exaggeration, like a thousand good-natured pixies gently blowing up you-know-where, and feels sooooo good after a long day in the saddle.

I also saw:

The strangest, most randomly placed "Apartment Building" I have ever seen.

It is located right here. Lots of cameras, fencing, weirdness. The town of Palmer, WA. Super tiny.

Yellow Submarine. You wondered? No longer.

Lessons Learned

2010-06-02T11:10:00.000-07:00

I have told myself and others that every time that I mess up, I learn a lesson. So, I’ve learned a lot of lessons so far. Here are the ones that come to mind first:

1. The longer I spend making up my mind to eat a ‘dangerous’ food, the higher the probability that I will eat it (and lots more too).

2. I I need a pressure relief valve. Something fun, no schedule, no pressure, to release the pressure that builds up over time.

3. I I need to not let the pressure build up so high—by not getting all worked up over un-important things (and most things, I have learned, are not terribly important, or at least not worth getting stressed over).

4. By focusing on the task at hand, and that alone, I improve the quality of the completed task and derive more satisfaction from it.

5. Talking about overeating with others is the best therapy.

6. I I should eat to train, not train to eat.

7. The food you fantasize about is never as satisfying/good as you imagine it to be.

8. When I’m in the mindset of overeating, I look at my life in the ‘white-knuckled grip/busybusybusy/controlling’ state and think it’s crazy. And the reverse is true. So neither is right!

9. This is a long term issue. When I let myself start thinking that I’ve got it licked, inevitably I mess up again.

WORK IN PROGRESS!

the voice

2010-04-08T14:36:00.001-07:00

I think that the episode "The Devil in me" of This American Life captures quite well the sentiment I feel when it comes to overeating. Specifically, a 6 minute segment, act 2, of this particular episode. Go to about 38:30 in the episode and listen. Click here to stream the episode.

lesson well learned

2010-04-08T09:07:00.000-07:00

It is true; last week, I stated that I knew that I would overeat again. I just wished it hadn’t been so soon. Tuesday afternoon came, and I started eating, and now it’s Thursday morning.

I know why it happened. I completely understand why. Too hard. Pushed myself too hard. There is no check valve on me to let off the pressure. I got home Sunday and hung out for a while with Mom and Jeff and then came home. I spent 5-9:30 running around trying to get a bunch of things done—and I did. Monday after work, same thing—ran around and tried to get a lot done. And I did. But the whole time I was just tired of it, the rush rush rush. So not much of a surprise when on Tuesday I said screw it and started eating.

I quickly realized that if I am going to thrive with this workload, I need to have freely chosen it for myself, instead of feeling boxed in or trapped by it. Of course, the reality is that I have chosen this for myself—nobody forced me. I just need to reiterate that to myself, somehow. I also need the pressure valve. The difficulty is that I’m either 105% (‘normal’ state of affairs, busy busy) or 23% (all I want to do ise eat sleep and watch tv). If I could just turn things down 10%, that would be so much more sustainable. I will have to think about that one.

The other thing that needs to change is that the Lord needs to be far more involved in my life. Right now, I don’t really let anyone else “in”, and that’s because I don’t feel like anyone is really offering to help much. And maybe that’s true, for people. I know that God is always willing to pitch in, I just haven’t been doing much asking.

Bottom line is, I messed up, but—so what, who cares. I am still a good person. The good thing is that it finally really ‘drove home’ the above two lessons. The important thing to do now is to get myself back on my feet and IMPLEMENT the lessons!

How are you....

2010-03-07T21:13:00.001-08:00

It's such a common greeting, "How are you"; I hear it at work, church, workouts, family and probably in my dreams too. Isn't it nice to talk to someone when you can actually respond truthfully to the question? So often I feel obliged to say "good" or "fine" as the response because if I really explained how I felt...well, we'd be there for 20 minutes and the person would get a lot more than they had bargained for.

So how am I doing...this weekend has been difficult. I don't know exactly what it was that triggered me this time, but I fell off the wagon and started overeating again. Now on one hand, it's been at least 5 weeks (I haven't been keeping track, which is a good thing I believe) since the last episode. If you'd asked me two days or two weeks ago if I thought I would never overeat again, I would have told you no way jose, I am sure it will happen again. Well it still sucks when it does happen. Saturday night, Sunday morning, Sunday evening....blah. Eat eat eat eat.....

So the really critical bit is that I figure out why it happened, that I learn from it, and that this not extend from 36 hours of overeating into 72 or 196 or whatever. Because I cannot, will not, WON'T go back to where I was in December. I desperately hope that I am never again that depressed, or that anyone be in that place. It was like...like daily life: work, church, talking to other human beings, anything was like trying to run through molasses. Like there was a barrier between me and the whole rest of the human race, I couldn't talk to them and they couldn't see how utterly depressed I was. It was so awful. I don't like to dwell on it.

Right. So, I can't go back. The only, and I really do mean the only other option that I have is to choose the Lord and what he would have me do. With that in mind, I am going off to bed. to read some scriptures. Because that is what the Lord is telling me that I need to do more of.

And I am doing okay.

Life Is GOOD!

2010-01-20T22:47:00.000-08:00

Not much to say, except that I felt compelled to update the blog because the last entry was way depressed. Not to villify the depression, but it doesn't accurately depict the Current State of Affairs.

Indifferent? I think not!

2009-10-07T10:31:00.000-07:00

So, the most important thing is that today is better than yesterday...though I won't go so far as to invite comparisons to weepy pop songs by saying that tomorrow will be even better.

Yesterday, I arrived at home and then went to the Institute Opening Social in an abysmal mood. There was a song playing in my car by Pearl Jam, the lyrics went something like "I will swallow poison until I grow immune...how much difference does it make." Well, the answer in my head was something like "yup doesn't really make much difference, life sucks any which way." Two things: turns out that's not true and secondly, the song is "Indifference" and like so many songs by Pearl Jam, I like it. The following is a slightly peculiar "music video" of the song. Boxes.

http://www.elyrics.net/read/p/pearl-jam-lyrics/indifference-lyrics.html

Anyways, I left in a far better mood. That took a little while. A few peevish characters annoyed me at the beginning of the social and I can only hope I wasn't too haughty towards them. There was some socializing, there was some folk dancing, which I participated in, and all in all I left in a far better mood. What changed? The inside.

As I said, tomorrow is better than yesterday. Today, I reaffirm to myself that I am sometimes too hard on myself and once one failure or setback comes up, I allow it to cascade and grow and get depressed. Also, I am recognizing a negative influence that triathlon has...in the sport, the role models (the athletes) are kind of insatiably, stupidly optimistic, sunny and cheerful. There is just not enough dry humor or realism, I think. I've let that kind of viewpoint rub off on me too much; it's not me, it's not natural, and so I think it's been a strain on me. If you're familiar with triathlon, you will know EXACTLY what I am talking about...once you reach a critical mass of twitter/facebook feeds of big-time triathletes, the pattern is undeniable. If you're not well then it's about time you signed up for a triathlon. :-)

Lastly, I realize too that as the lesson gets rammed home time after time that I am not perfect, not an invincible triathlon machine, not a finished work, and once I begin to really experience happiness, free of conditions, then I'll be onto something. And I know that this setback is temporary, it won't last forever, and that next time I will be better equipped to survive and thrive. Something really simple and yet so difficult that I want to make a habit is 2x day personal, kneeling prayer and meaningful study of inspired writings (that can be scriptures or a book written by a prophet too, mind you.) I have a feeling that giving myself a daily dose of something will be tremendously helpful. That something needs to remind me of who I am and what makes me truly happy.

Lastly, this morning I put on some new deodorant, and inadvertently got some on my hand. I can't stop smelling my hand. Dag yo that deodorant is off the hook.

Slippage

2009-10-05T15:43:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhh, so I slipped up a bit. One of the hazards of being a chimpanzee/human is banana peel slippage. I eat a lot of bananas, just like a chimpanzee. However, like a human, I walk completely upright. So, there are a lot of banana peels lying around....and I slipped on one! This is no a problem for chimpanzees, since they generally have 3-4 limbs in contact with the ground, whereas I only have 1-2. Sometimes, it is difficult to cope as a human/chimpanzee hybrid. I am thinking of joining a support group. I digress. Read on.

Okay so on Sunday morning...I was really looking forward to people coming over to watch General Conference and at the same time knew that as with any gathering of this type there would be a lot of junk food...which there was. I had a reasonable, normal amount of food and then once people had gone let myself start falling back into old habits...and kept eating. Later that night I went out and bought cookie dough and some ice cream. Didn't finish them. Or at least the ice cream. Went to bed kind of forcefully ignoring the problem, slept in this morning and then ate a lot, courtesy of 7-11.

Okay, but now this is what I am thinking at the moment: I am not a bad person. The sun is still shining outside, I've got a job, and eating sugar or whatever is not a sin, doesn't change who I am. It is just a choice, it's external to me. Duh, our choices, cumulatively, are part of who we are, but these ones over the last 18 hours or so do not define me. No sir. A mistake, yes, but a repairable one.

I watched the first episode of "House" last night and there was a line that got me thinking...house's character said that he focused on his failures because "our successes only last until we screw up again, while our failures are forever." Maybe that's part of my faulty view on this eating thing. It's not like I'm a white board, once there is one smudge on me from overeating i am ruined. each choice is very small, but cumulatively they take us somewhere and make us something. The ones I made last night/this morning started me going in the wrong direction. But, luckily I have a whole rest of the day, rest of the week, remainder of my life to stop going in the wrong direction and go in the RIGHT direction.

So, I think I might have something figured out...I still see good in a "good" or "bad" light, and consequently, depending upon what I eat, I am either "good" or "bad", and thus "happy" or "sad." It's all FOOD, it has it's effects on me, duh, but it's got no moral attachments...unless you consider the whole vegetarian/organic/vegan/local/raw/slow food/schmuckisms.

Finally, all in all, things are going pretty darned well. I went OVER 4 WEEKS without falling back into old habits!!!! That has not happened, literally, since January of 2008. That would be 21 MONTHS! And I am already turning this ship around after falling back into old habits quite quickly! Normally I would be overeating for a good 2,3,4 or 5 days until I got myself so depressed that I would stop.

So, I am done telling you about my weekend. How was yours?

Chimpy is ANGRY!

2009-09-24T10:57:00.001-07:00

Aaaarg! I just got back from Dr. Chait's office with my test results. Here they are:

Total Cholesterol: 302

Trigylcerides: 24

LDL: 226

HDL: 71

As compared to a year ago:

Total Cholesterol: 256

Trigylcerides: 20

LDL: 163

HDL: 89

A year ago, my levels were pretty much awesome. The only thing was that my LDL was about 30 points over the limit deemed "acceptable"--130. Today, they suck--though my trigylcerides and HDL continue to be pretty awesome, they have both changed for the worse.

Why did this happen? Well, duh, could it be the obscene amounts of food that I ate whilst bingeing over the past several months? Hmmm, maybe? My doctor, Alan Chait, seems to think that it's not of a key factor. I strongly disagree. He also urges me to start taking a statin. He seems to think that my opinion doesn't really matter, (at least in his attitude towards me) but I also strongly disagree.

I've got a lot more to say about this, but that'll have to wait. But, suffice it to say at this point that I am getting tested again in January, and betwixt now and then, I am going to do everything I can to bring my numbers back around, sans statin.

Just another reason to continue to stay on track, on the bandwagon, eating well and training hard. And time to hit up the cranberries, walnuts, and salmon---HARDCORE NATURAL CHOLESTEROL-LOWERING ATTACK!!!!!!

Of Sociality

2009-09-11T15:50:00.001-07:00

A mistake that I have made in the past is allowing items requiring my attention to assail me, simultaneously. It is a definite recipe for stress, anxiety, poor health, and a loss of enthusiasm for fun stuff. One can only keep a couple of plates spinning at any one time! Having learned this, I am trying to implement it into my life. How?

For the next 10-12 weeks, I am going to be backing way off on swim/bike/run and instead focusing on running and weight lifting. Dialing things back in that department will allow me to (hopefully) get that elusive body composition improvement (read: six-pack) while paying attention to a couple of other necessary components to my life plan, like being more social and finding a home to buy. Plainly said, I need me a wife and a house!

Being social is a life—and afterlife skill. D&C 130:2 says:

And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us [in the hereafter].

It doesn’t end with death, newsflash. It is a skill I intend to cultivate my entire life. A comment was made at institute the other night about the rising generation’s reliance upon technology; their ability to talk simultaneously with folks through various electronic means whilst being mediocre in the face-to-face department. I can see that in myself; I am fare more likely to send an email than to call someone.

Putting myself into more social situations also helps me to stretch and to “always do that which you are afraid to do” (i.e. talk to pretty girls). Growing up as an only child has translated into my idea of a good night consisting of some training, some eating, and then settling down for a movie…more often than not, solitarily. That impulse has thankfully been declining over the last little while.

Gaining Momentum

2009-09-03T22:00:00.001-07:00

The above video is from a few years ago...I have a desire to be more spontaneous, such as jumping in MORE bodies of cold, cold, cold water. (It was January in Anacortes!)

Today while perusing the internet as I am wont to do, I typed in "overeater blog" to Google and came upon this site. I skimmed through it and then came upon an interesting feature, the secret confessions page. After reading through some of the comments on the secret confessions page (which definitely reminded me of post secret) I just about lost it, sitting there at work. Luckily it was late in the afternoon and there weren't many folks left at work. The reason for the surge of emotions was hope--to dare to think that perhaps things are turning around now and I can get back to work at being happy in a deep, lasting way. I think I captured the feeling pretty well in something I wrote in my journal on December 22, 2008:

How many times have I felt that happiness was outside of my reach? that it was so shimmering, trembling and fragile that if I gripped it too tightly, it would shatter and dissolve away? how many times have i wondered if I would ever be happy again? happy, to me means fit, trim, in control, dazed in a pleasant state of fatigue and satisfaction, all things in order in my universe. in my universe gravity isnt all that strong and things tend to fall out of their orbits all to easily. but I can feel a change now. i am so terrified to hope that this change might be real, solid and lasting. to dare to hope that this might last, that is audacity in my world. i am going to change so help me god or its going to kill me from the inside out.

Reading that, it's a bit disturbing how strongly that echoes and resembles my present feelings--it might lead one to think that you're stuck on an endless cycle. But, I suppose that unless I do something to throw a wrench in the cycle, I am stuck. As I understand it the cycle is:

grief-->contemplation-->acting out of rituals-->back to grief

This week, I have defintely been acting out the rituals. But, I think that grief has left. I read that dude's blog and realized that my happiness is within my grasp.

So, here is to tomorrow: riding into work, riding home, and no overeating!

3 Important Things to Remember

2009-09-02T10:50:00.000-07:00

It's good that this blog is getting viewed by more people; it's putting some pressure on me to keep the writing at a certain quality. The picture is from the finish line of IM Brazil; a reference here to "keeping your eye on the final goal while executing your plan in the present" I think would be appropriate to both Ironman racing and life struggles would be appropriate.

Yesterday evening, I spoke with my therapist over the phone (she is moving out of the state) and from the conversation, a few key things materialized that I need to keep at the forefront of my thoughts:

1. This is not "bad", or a sin, in the sense of I am consciously rebelling against goodness. It is bad, in the sense that it leaves me feeling isolated, unmotivated and depressed. What I need to be cognizant of is that this is just a (negative) habit that I have developed of dealing with problems--it's a part of me, and however much I want to just swiftly and surgically remove it from me, that's not possible. It will be a journey, a process, to move and progress past this addiction.

2. During times that I have been able to stay "sober", for lack of a better term, my downfall has always been the same. Things are going well, until something appears that causes me anxiety. I have learned enough to be able to recognize the building emotions, but where I fail is being able to deal with the anxiety. The pressure builds, I resist for a time, but ultimately I cave in and start eating. It is very comparable to being inside a box with a (very strong) balloon. The balloon is being inflated, I'm stuck in the box, the pressure keeps building, and I cannot resist indefinitely. The solution is that next time I recognize the building anxiety, I will present myself with options; perhaps something like: "I am getting anxious. I can either a.) go for a short walk b.) call a friend c.) write down what I am feeling or d.) go eat." Presenting oneself with options restores the feeling of control and free agency and quells those out-of-control feelings that are so frightening.

3. Being open is a good thing--which is exactly why I have written this and you are reading it. In the past few weeks, I have felt a renewed desire to reach out to my friends and strengthen those relationships. Hopefully, a few of you have noticed. I know it is the strength of those relationships that allow me to rely upon you all for help, and I really appreciate it.

And, it's my birthday!!!! Yeah for me!

A Request

2009-09-01T11:56:00.000-07:00

I am starting this writing initiative for a few reasons. The first is to help myself...or rather, to allow those who care about me to help me. The other is to help others understand my difficulties so that they might be better equipped to help others who struggle with similar challenges.

So let's get down to it: I have an eating disorder. It sort of vacillates between three different classifications: overeating, orthorexia, and exercise anorexia (though I have read that the last term is a bit of a misnomer, and should really just be called anorexia.) I'm no expert on this stuff but my experiences match up well with the descriptions.

What do I intend to accomplish with this writing? My hope is that I can create a (good and healthy) habit of writing about what I'm feeling, my experiences, ups and downs, triumphs and setbacks. (I feel compelled to call them "setbacks" and not "defeats.") My other hope is that by regularly writing, I can get support and help from you, my friends and family. That support comes an overwhelmingly simply form: listen to me and recognize what I am going through. There is no obligation of advice, counsel, or intervention, though that's not to say that it's not welcome. Just thoughtfully read what I have put down, and pray for me. That is what I am asking for. And, I guess, to use what you might learn from this to help anyone else in a similar pickle.

With that said, I suppose I need to bring some of you up to speed. Others of you are quite familiar with my struggles, while others have a notion but not the familiarity. Here is a post I wrote a while ago when I was first making attempts at opening up. Here is also an excerpt from an email I sent quite a few months ago:

This is not an easy letter to write. It has taken me a long time to come to the realization that this problem, my addiction, is larger than what I can handle on my own. I believe that to some of you, or perhaps all of you, I represent some form of strength. While it is true that I do believe that one of the blessings the Lord has given me is strength, both physical and otherwise, this problem is far, far too great for me to handle on my own. This has become painfully obvious to me over the space of the last 13 months. At this juncture, the pain of my problem has become greater than the pain of the solution. I realize that it is going to be very difficult to change the habits, thoughts, tendencies, and mindset that has led me to my present predicament.

Now I also realize that there is an onus on my part to not "abuse" your goodwill. It is possible to inflate, exaggerate, and so forth, when one's intent strays from seeking only to describe one's experiences in a succinct but sufficient manner. But I suspect that the difficulty will lie in making sure that I write enough, and not too much.

As to timeframe, I have heard it said that recovery times for this sort of addiction average about 5 years (!), and I've also heard it said that it can "haunt you your whole life." I suppose it's not much different from alcoholics avoiding bars the rest of their lives such; I would also venture to say that there are far more bakeries and ice cream shops than bars in the places I run around.

Lastly, if there be any of you who are hesitant to believe the seriousness of my claims...if you find it difficult to believe, contact me and we'll talk.

There's a lot to work through up here (in my head) and I know it'll take a while. But in learning so much about myself (a person who I considered to be a fairly normal dude) and my difficulties, I realize that everybody has their issues. So, of course I open myself up to reciprocate in whatever way I can for any of you.

One more thing...with your permission, I can set up my blog to automatically email y'all the post when it is put up. Please let me know if that is okay or not.

Sounds like a better hot dog to me...

2009-08-27T11:33:00.000-07:00

Check out this article on hot dogs. I think they could give the Brazilian cachorro quente a run for it's money. There perhaps could be a showdown...

Great Things To Do Before I Turn 30

2009-08-23T07:32:00.000-07:00

So, a little while back I composed a list of things that I would like to have accomplished by the time that I hit the ripe old age of 30. Here, unabridged, is the list: (wait, before you read it--the asterisk means I've done it already. Also, you can blame my mom for creating such a crazy list--she and I did so much stuff when I was younger that in order for a potential activity to elicit any kind of interest on my part it has to be EXTREMELY awesome.)

1. Ultramarathon (50 miler)

2. Ultramarathon (100 miler)

3. Qualify and race in Kona

4. Hike all or a significant portion of the Pacific Crest Trail

5. Bike Across America

6. Do an Ironman*

7. Run a marathon*

8. Run all the way up Mt. Si

9. Go to Portugal

10. Swim across Lake Washington*

11. Swim across Puget Sound

12. Do the STP in one day*

13. Buy a motorcycle*

14. Make my own sausage

15. Go canyoneering

16. IM Austria

17. Go to Australia

18. Go backpacking for a good spell in Big Sur

19. Own my own triathlon

20. Raft Grand Canyon*

21. Climb Mt. Rainier

22. Do the Coast to Coast Race in NZ (this one may get nixed, 'twould be awful expensive)

23. Wonderland Trail

24. Crater Lake--run or bike around it or something like that.

25. Cannonball

26. Ramrod

The last one, the Ramrod, I did yesterday! I, along with Ben, Erik and Lee (folks from the team) rode all the way around Mt. Rainier! It was not as difficult as I envisioned, honestly. About 10,000 feet of climbing, but nearly all of it in two distinct climbs, Cayuse Pass and Chinook Pass. The remainder was pretty flat (and a whole lot of downhill!) Aside from a minor crash, everything went pretty swimmingly. I was especially pleased with how I did--considering that I've only had two rides of 40+ miles since Brazil, and very little time on the tri bike, I felt really, really awesome. Strong during the whole ride. My Powertap is off getting serviced, so no official data, but AP must've been 200ish and NP 215 or so, based off Ben's number so 171 AP.

All in all, a very, very satisfying day.

Official Rules of Elite Triathletes

2009-08-19T14:37:00.001-07:00

Hilarious! Read on:

The official rules to live by for the elitist triathlete.
Badly parodied off The Official Rules of the Euro Cyclist.

-----------------Endorsed Bikes and Parts----------------
- Shimano Gruppos
- SRAM Gruppos
- Zipp Anything
- Hed Anything
- Blackwell Research Wheelsets
- EDGE Wheelsets
- Cervelo Bicycles
- Felt Bicycles
- Specialized Bicycles
- Scott Bicycles
- Ceepo Bicycles
- Kestrel Bicycles
- Cannondale Bicycles
- Look Bicycles/Components
- Argon 18 Bicycles
- Blue Bicycles
- Orbea Bicycles
- Kuota Bicycles
- Quintana Roo Bicycles
- Elite Bicycles
- BH Bicycles
- Guru Bicycles
- Oval Componentry
- Profile Designs Componentry
- Continental Tires

---------------------Endorsed Apparel---------------------
- Giro Helmets
- Louis Garneau Helmets/Clothing
- Kiwami Race Wear
- Zoot Anything
- Speedo Swim Wear
- TYR Swim Wear
- Malmsten Swim Goggles
- Oakley Sunglasses
- Rudy Project Sunglasses/Helmets
- Tifosi Sunglasses
- Spuik Helmets/Clothing
- Orca Clothing
- Blue Seventy Wetsuits
- Sidi Footwear
- Newton Running Footwear
- Avia Footwear
- Skinz Compression Clothing
- 2XU Apparel
- Yankz Laces

--------------Other Endorsed Products-----------------
- Gatorade Sports Drink
- Accelerade Sports Drink
- Hammer Nutrition Products
- Clif Nutrition Products
- GU Nutrition Products
- PowerBar Nutrition Products
In tribute to The Official Rules of the Euro Cyclist created by the geniuses Dom Guiver and Mike Flavell.

***************** -THE OFFICIAL ELITIST TRIATHLETE CODE OF CONDUCT- ***************

1. An aerodynamic appearance is required at all times while swimming, cycling, and running. The only thing separating the Elitist Triathlete from greatness is the air and/or water and thankfully, one can spend inordinate amounts of money gaining the ability to cheat it in every facet imaginable.

2. Training shall be based solely upon oneâ€™s ability to talk it up to other triathletes. Backing up oneâ€™s wild claims of 8 hour rides with a quick 20 miles at the end is highly encouraged, but not always necessary due to the fact that any other triathlete one talks to will usually lie about what they did to show you up anyway.

3. There is a grace period of one year that one may wear anything other than spandex though it is HIGHLY frowned upon. Spandex is highly encouraged in ANY AND ALL situations.

4. Other than the hair on oneâ€™s head, the Elitist Triathleteâ€™s entire body will be COMPLETELY shaved at ALL TIMES when in race season and a minimum of legs in the off-season. This is not only one of the most aero things one can do to oneâ€™s body, but also distinguishes the Elitist Triathlete from Elitist Cyclists. Failure to comply will render the triathlete looking like a fool.

5. Oneâ€™s body must contain a MINIMUM of 3 different sets of tan lines. Oneâ€™s race suit tan lines, oneâ€™s speedo tan lines, and oneâ€™s cycling outfit tan lines. This also helps distinguish the Elitist Triathlete from Elitist Cyclists.

6. Other than long rides/runs, it is FORBIDDEN to wear socks at any time. Instead, the Elitist Triathlete will wear any number of shoes that are designed for sockless wear and preferably have some kind of speed-of-entry advantage. If one develops blisters, one will need to suck it up princess.

7. Certain races dictate certain race apparel. However at no time is it ever acceptable for a man to wear something not covering, at the minimum, his chest. The abdomen is completely fine showing as you will need to show your dedication to your training by having nothing less than a ten pack.
a. Sprint distance races are the only time in which it is acceptable to wear any off combination items, though strongly discouraged.
b. Olympic distance races require at least some form of standardized triathlon gear and it is highly encouraged to wear an ITU style unitard with the zipper in the back and oneâ€™s country/last name on the front.
c. Half Ironman and up it is FORBIDDEN to race in any article of clothing without prominent sponsorship logos. The only exception to this rule is to race in a swimming brief and place prominent sponsorship tattoos all over oneâ€™s body, while keeping in mind that the chest must remain covered.

8. Oneâ€™s bike frame may not cost less than $2,000 and must have an aero appearance above all else. Actual wind-tunnel testing is encouraged but not required as some designs are just brilliant from common sense. (See the Kestrel Airfoil)

9. One shall race on Zipp wheel-sets or Hed wheel-sets only with the minimum wheel depth no less than 50 mm. Though fading in popularity, it is still HIGHLY encouraged to ride a disk rear and a Hed Tri-spoke front. In fact, other than the Ironman World Championship, one should never be caught without oneâ€™s disk wheel. Campagnolo Boras, Mavic Cosmic Carbones, Fullcrum Racing Ones, and Lightweights are incredibly Euro and should be treated with extreme apprehension.

10. Clinchers are only acceptable in training and it is FORBIDDEN to ride with them in a race. Tubular tires are vastly superior in all circumstances and one must always carry a spare tubular tire behind his seat regardless of one's ability to change a tire in a race.

11. Sunglasses must be extremely radiant and obnoxious. The general rule of thumb is, if you think a rapper would wear them, youâ€™re good to go. Sunglasses must be worn under the straps as this means you pulled off a very quick transition.

12. Hair must be kept very neat and short, almost military-tapered in appearance. It is extremely frowned upon to have long hair, unless one is Ironman World Champion Faris al-Sultan. Even then, it is only okay if one adheres to the exception found in Rule 7c and wears a bandana with their country's colors.

13. A road helmet must be worn at all times in training and may only be raced in an ITU race. A matching aero helmet is required to race in and it must comply with all American safety standards. If it fails to, Charlie Crawford WILL find you and he WILL eat your lunch.

14. At no times is it ever acceptable for the Elitist Triathlete to be caught without his helmet on other than when said triathlete comes indoors, which should be kept to a strict minimum as there is nothing good inside, ever.

15. Water bottles should be chosen on the sole basis of how aero they are. It is highly encouraged to have anything requiring the use of hose to go from a large aero reservoir to your mouth.

16. If one finds themselves with a flat tire in a half or full Ironman race, one must throw their bike and hurl obscenities about how one can't possibly win the race now that one has no power. Crying is HIGHLY encouraged.

17. Work out apparel may be used more than once and it is encouraged to do so as this hints to others through odor that one is very dedicated to their training.

18. Upon completing an OFFICIAL Ironman, one has 24 hours to seek a tattoo artist to tattoo the M-Dot logo on one's leg. The M-Dot may not exceed 3 cm by 3 cm and must be located on the right leg, directly above the right ankle bone. If one wins Kona, one must instead get the Hawaiian Man of Power.

19. When getting water at water stops, one must make an effort to get the volunteers as wet as possible. This is best accomplished by throwing water on one's self from the side.

20. When one wins a race, one must grab the tape and raise it in the air over one's head which must be pointed to the sky. Screaming is HIGHLY encouraged. If no tape is available, it is advised to simply act as if there was tape there anyway.

21. Post-race composure is paramount to one's image. At no point should one ever look tired.

22. Post-race activities should include talking to reporters about:
a. How one made a gutsy move that nobody expected and that was one's key to the win.
b. How the course was less than par and hard to follow.
c. How one was simply feeling a win before even getting into the water.

23. If the Elitist Triathlete loses a race one should show signs of apparent injury and anything to show that it wasn't one's fault for losing. It is HIGHLY encouraged to either drop out mid race and/or argue with the Race Director as if that would make a difference.

24. One must be willing to wear a speedo brief or equivalent to any and all banquet type atmosphere. National Championship post-race events are prime locations for partial nudity.

25. Handlebar tape must either match one's bike or provide some sort of nod to vintage triathletes. At no point should one ever have two different colored tapes or anything that clashes with one's frame.

26. Top Gun style mustaches are HIGHLY encouraged for Ironman races. Otherwise, facial hair is forbidden.

27. If planning on getting in a training ride with a group of cyclists, the Elitist Triathlete should make a point to show up on his rig instead of an acceptable road bike. It is imperative that one also makes a point to pull the entire ride and always complain when people want to stop to grab water/use the restroom.

28. One should wait until the VERY LAST SECOND to put on one's wetsuit, regardless of how tricky it is.

29. If possible, one should make a big deal of and brag about one's eating disorder and dedication to training on any interviews they can arrange.

30. If one lives in a colder climate, they must relocate for approximately 2 months to Arizona or Florida.

31. The second best thing to winning the Hawaiian Ironman is not finishing second, it is setting the course bike record with no concern of how bad one will do on the marathon.

32. It is FORBIDDEN to have the green/purple/white color combination. This flags the Elitist Triathlete for being a member of Team-in-Training and subsequently, a road hazard.

33. One's blood type must be clearly found on one's rig. Paramedics will not accept this as proof, but it is still necessary.

34. At no point in the race should one be smiling. A strong look of composure is the only acceptable sign of life. However, is one is a female, it is perfectly acceptable and highly encouraged to laugh and joke around with male athletes when passing them.

35. Only the following should ever enter the transition area: a bicycle with everything needed to ride, running shoes, a running hat, a race belt, and a USA Triathlon monogrammed towel that is only big enough to rest under one's running gear, or over top should weather turn nasty. The gear sans bicycle may be carried in a bag, though the bag must be as small as possible and fit in to a place as to not disturb anyone else. Crates and/or buckets are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN.

36. Transitions are to be performed with the shoes on the bike with rubber bands holding them up right. One will run with the bike GRABBING THE SEAT ONLY and hop on the bike past the dismount line. This should be absolutely flawless and if said triathlete falls, this is an unwritten rule of self-disqualification.

37. Upon approaching the dismount line to enter T2, the Elitist Triathlete will not ever come to a complete stop. At the minimum, entry speed should be approximately 15 to 16 miles per hour. One will be completely off one's bike exactly at the dismount line, no more, no less. This is to display one's perfection and dedication to training that are crucial to one's image.

38. Upon attaining a pro card, one is to hold a higher standard to themselves than anyone else. Violation of any "finesse" rules above are only acceptable if said professional self-disqualifies themselves after violating said rules.

39. One must always be in a state of "training," whether it be in the winter or summer, the word is to be applied to any form of physical activity.

40. One should always look down upon and be condescending of those who are not training. This can either be accomplished by outright ignoring someone or can be applied in passive comments about how one is doing a good job but would fold under the pressure of REAL training. Adherence to Rule #2 is paramount.

41. If one cannot make the Olympic Team in one's own country, say, New Zealand, one must relocate to another country much weaker in the sport, say, the United States.

42. Running calf sleeves are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN AT ALL TIMES unless one can run 10 kilometers in under 35 minutes off the bike.

43. If one is a female competing in ITU racing, it is strongly discouraged to wear anything covering any part of the legs. It simply looks far too Ironman-like to race in at that level of the sport.

44. Powermeters are to never be used in races lower than a Half-Iron distance race as one must be going at a balls-to-the-walls pace in an Olympic or shorter.

45. In Olympic distances or shorter, computers and heart rate monitors are acceptable in races of B status or lower, though even B is discouraged. All A races must be raced in a manner that would suit the motto of HTFU.

46. One must always make sure that one is completely outfitted in every way possible by carbon fiber. This is absolutely essential as it can add to Rule #1 as well as lowering the weight of everything. EVERYTHING MUST BE AS LIGHT AS POSSIBLE. The only exception to this rule is if one is over the age of 55 when everything must be steel because, "Steel is Real."

47. Triathletes, being an elite breed of human, should only engage in romantic situations with other triathletes. Activities shall include, but are not limited to: co-ed training rides (as long as one acknowledges that it is a recovery/light aerobic base level ride), carpooling to a race, and challenging the All-You-Can-Eat offers at buffets after a race/long-training day.

48. Any romantic encounters with non-triathletes (with the exception of cyclists or marathoners) are HIGHLY discouraged as the other party would have no idea how to deal with triathlete activities (i.e. being busy the entire day with training/eating/sleeping/working and also starting the day at 5 am)

49. Alcohol may only be consumed, though minimally, during the two weeks of the year the Elitist Triathlete takes off for reflection on their Elitist Deeds and their future Elitist Deeds/Purchases. The exception to this rule is the Memphis in May triathlon when one must get as hammered as possible before the Pros take off. Another exception is the entire Wildflower Triathlon weekend.

50. One should make a point to count calories in front of non-athletic co-workers (I almost included non-athletic friends but... let's be honest...) and then proceed to comment on how fat one is becoming. Adherence to the general tone of Rule #7 is imperative.

51. Upon encountering a formidable Elitist Cyclist whilst riding one's rig, the Elitist Triathlete must pursue said cyclist, ride uncomfortably close in one's aerobars, and talk about how Lance is going to destroy the Tour de France this year whilst acting completely oblivious to the sport of cycling (regardless of one's knowledge of cycling).
*Bonus points may be attained if one can mention any of the following: "Lance Armstrong was a much better cyclist than Merckx," "Cycling is such a boring, loner, and solely individual sport," and/or "Is this a recovery ride for you? I was just wondering because you look like you're going a little slow."

52. If one is ever in any form of training and/or racing in one of the three disciplines, one must display something to indicate that one is a triathlete. This can range anywhere from having outrageous tan-lines whilst swimming, wearing a tri-suit whilst cycling, and/or having over-sized quadriceps whilst running.

53. If one is an ITU triathlete who is getting slower and decides to move up to 70.3s or Full Ironmans, one must abandon all former racing techniques. Though one could easily conform to the 15 second drafting technique with other riders and keep things interesting, one must instead crush the field on the bike and not look back. Ironman is entirely individual and should be treated as such.

54. One must make a point to always wear one's race wrist bracelet for a long period of time. Each race is different.
a. National Championship = 2 weeks
b. 70.3 Ironmans = 3 weeks
c. Ironman = 1 month
d. First completed Ironman = Til it falls off

55. When consuming gels, one must smoothly extract at least 95% of a packet's contents without swerving or dropping below a speed of 20 MPH. When gel extraction is complete, the foil packet should be neatly folded (Origami is always preferable) and placed in one's rear jersey's pocket. The foil tear-tab may be discretely flicked to the curb to "bio-degrade" (Preferably in the stomach of an endangered species). Never is it acceptable to extrude gel onto one's top-tube, or any other component of the bike for that matter.

56. If one is to become romantically involved with a non-triathlete, no more than two months may elapse before they have convinced said non-triathlete to start training. Further continuation of the relationship shall be dependent on completion of a triathlon within four months. Remember at all times that one's true "significant other" is his or her bike, and time should be allotted appropriately.

I'm a pushover for La Push!

2009-08-15T13:10:00.001-07:00

Spencer has a high metabolism

2009-07-31T20:04:00.001-07:00

I made pizza!

2009-07-30T18:36:00.000-07:00

And then I ate it!

Your attitude: precious as gold

2009-07-30T12:00:00.000-07:00

A recent discussion thread on my team's forum about motivation tied in nicely with a "discussion thread" going on in my head for the last couple days. So, where to begin...sports psychology is a complicated topic that I don't pretend to know much about, but in my own experiences I've seen my attitude towards the sport vary widely, so I will draw upon that.

Why do we begin upon any venture? Because we have faith that if A, then B. If I plant tomato plants, water, care for them, I will get tomatoes. If I ask the girl out, then she will say yes! And so forth. When it comes to training, peoples' faith statements are pretty individualized. But everyone believes (or so I hope) that if I train well, I will get not only stronger/faster/fitter, the experience will be satisfying and make my life better in some way.

Sometimes, people "lose the faith" so to speak, and lose sight of the "if A then B" statement. Training loses its attractiveness, you don't want to look at your bike, think about running, or smell chlorine. More often than not, this seems to come about from doing too much! Especially following a big race like an Ironman, there can be a loss of enthusiasm, which can prompt some to just grit their teeth and muscle their way through workouts, until an even greater fallout results. I have definitely experienced this.

So where am I going with this? Well, the gist of this post is this: your mental attitude is your most precious asset. Workouts come and go, just as bicycles, running shoes, and wetsuits. It is essential that one monitor, test, and assess the attitude and disposition towards training. Why is it so important? Your attitude is what makes things happen! It is what helps you to get fit, to get out of bed early, to take tough races in stride, and to achieve great things! Without a positive attitude, none of this would happen; you would have no faith, so to speak, and there would be no big fat juicy tomatoes (referring to my earlier analogy) with which to make salsa, tomato sauce, bruschetta, or what have you. Your attitude is what gets you places, in triathlon and in life. So guard it! If it's flagging, it's time to change something. Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting different results. (paraphrasing)

There is definitely an element in the triathlon world that espouses the "HTFU" philosophy, i.e. suck it up and do it. That has its place...sometimes we need to remember that often the body can do what the mind cannot conceive. So, really it is a line that we must walk, between pushing ourselves too hard and going easy on ourselves.

Sooooo...executive summary: Your attitude is what enables you to do the work, enjoyably, so take good care of it through the proper application of rest, rewards, and variation.

Chelan Man Half Iron Race Report

2009-07-19T15:55:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I had a great day up at Lake Chelan, doing the half iron distance race! I am going to talk about it now! 3,2,1....go!

First off, congrats to Mom for winning her age group and getting the "Grand Master Female" plaque! Apparently, it is a chess game AND a triathlon! Wow! And thanks for coming, Mom! She ran a great 10k!

So back in February I had the pleasure to meet Julie Pittsinger, former Olympic swimmer, pro ITU triathlete and now, vintner/triathlon race director. She told me about the race she puts on at Lake Chelan and invited me to come race it. After the tough race at Brazil, I honestly wasn't that enthused about racing...but a little voice in me said "suck it up you wuss and do the race! You won't regret it! Are you a chimpanzee or a man?!?....hmmm, wait a second..."

And, last minute, Mom decided to join me and do the 10k! Awesome! We drove up Friday and stayed with Gerry Marvin, a dude from my team, and his family. Never been out to Lake Chelan land, very, very pretty and very, very hot and dry.....cool, man.

Okay so the swim. was. great. Going into the race, I was trying to drill it into my head that this was a great opportunity to have a nice, catered workout in a beautiful location, to not get carried away with competition and overdo it. Literally, I have swam and ran 5 times since June 1st, and have mostly just been biking to and from work, with a couple of casual weekend rides. So, fitness was not quite where it was in the recent past. But, of course, being the person that I am, as soon as the swim started I was ready to kick my toosh into high gear.

Right, so the swim. The lake is beautiful, clear, blue, and quite a pleasant temperature. There is a buoy line about 6' under the water to guide swimmers, it made it so easy! I moved to the frontish part of the swimmers and started drafting off some dudes. I saw Jeff Platt from my team a couple of times. I was pushing a bit hard, but feeling really good, smooth, and relaxed. Once we rounded the buoy we formed up into a little pack of 5 people. Twice, I thought I could go faster on my own and tried to break away but thought better of it. We came to the park and came out, all 5 of us together. There were 2 swimmers ahead of us, so I *think* you could say that I was 3rd out of the water. Awesome! A time of 28:15, which is a PR for me!

The bike started great. I was all by myself for a good 20 minutes. The course follows the lake, some rolling hills but nothing too bad. The large chip seal was NOT pleasing to my undercarriage but hey what are you going to do. I was going along well, in 8th or 9th place (a few people did pass me eventually, I passed a couple too). I was watching the powermeter and was definitely pushing pretty hard, the average wattage was 225 but I wouldn't be surprised if the NP was around 260 or so. The course takes you away from the lake, up Bear Mtn. There was a false downhill up there wherein I was churning out 270 watts and going 13 mph...that was maddening! A couple of bigger climbs back there, aye. Then, I got a flat! There was a section of gravel, blast! and the dude in front of me got one too. I stopped and tried to ameliorate the situation with Pit-Stop, and it seemed to stop the loss of pressure. I think I was at maybe 50 psi and decided to keep going (didn't have any CO2 and didn't want to change a tubular with 6 miles to go). So I took it real easy, but d'oh! all the pressure was gone! So I very, very gingerly finished the last 3-4 miles, so uncomfortable to roll on the rim. A couple of times the tire very nearly came off. Flats suck! I reckon it cost me a good 4 minutes. Darn.

Awesome transition, though. Starting the run, I felt a wee bit flat and knew it would be hard. And yup, it was. I started out making a concerted effort to keep my speed down for the first few miles--which wasn't too hard, given the heat and my fatigue. After about 3 miles, I decided that walking the aid stations was an acceptable practice. That also gave the kids with the water cannons more time to hose me down--that was definitely the most enjoyable part. There were also quite a few folks standing in their driveways, hoses ready, to cool us off, and I took advantage of all of them! I drank about 3 cups of water and 1 cup of Heed at each aid station and ate two gels over the course of the run, and I felt like I was perfectly riding the line between throwing up and insufficient fluid/calories. After the turn around, with about 6 miles to go, fatigue went up a notch and I found myself walking in short bouts inbetween the aid stations as well. But, I was okay with that--trying to keep my expectations low, right? What was interesting was my HR--super high! I had a heckuva time keeping it at around 172! It would dip down during the walks of course but as soon as I resumed running it went back to the low 170s. I was concerned that this was an unsustainable HR but it seemed unrealistic to try and keep it below 170. During the last 1/2 mile, it reached an unspeakable 189! Goodness gracious! As the finish line drew near, I was able to rally and pick it up a bit and finish strong, for a run time of 1:51 and overall time of 5:16, for 14th male, 3rd in 25-29, and 17th overall (humbling to be beat by 3 women! Strong ones they are.)

All in all, I was extremely pleased with my swim, strong bike, and for getting 3rd in my AG. The race was great, aside from the gravel and sparse post-race nourishment, but very well run, with a challenging route and beautiful, fire-breathing locale.

My Mom

2009-07-13T22:45:00.000-07:00

My mom is so cool.

tricky cheese!

2009-06-10T12:30:00.000-07:00

A few years ago I read about the results of a study on cheese. The important bit that I remember was that they found that cheese consumption before going to sleep was associated with an increase in the intensity of dreams. Okay so hold onto that thought.

Friday night I went to bed. For dinner, we had eaten a pizza, half sun dried beef and half calabresa sausage, with a cheddar filled crust. As an aside, pizza is one of the few things that is commonly eaten here but is just as expensive if not more expensive than in the US--our large (more like a medium) cost 16 dollars!!

Right so I went to bed. This is what happened from my side of things. I woke up around 1 or 2, needing to use the bathroom. So I got up and as I walked through the living room, Joao Paulo´s wife was sitting on the couch. I thought to myself, that is quite odd, just sitting there at 1 in the morning. But I continued to the restroom and did my business. Then things are a bit fuzzy, and then all of a sudden I am taking a shower, in my clothes, and I have a HUGE headache. ENORMOUS. The size of the national debt. And all I want to do is go back my room and lie down. Then Joao Paulo is at the door, asking if I am alright. I manage to get out a alkdjaflkdj and stumble to bed.

Here is what he saw/heard: sleeping...sleeping...then a loud noise, boom! And he is worried and comes to the bathroom door and asks if I am okay, he had heard the boom and was concerned. Then he inspects the bathroom and discovers that the shower is on and that the hose connecting the shower to the water tank has been torn out of the wall.

The next morning we wake up and discuss. I also find a large bump on my head and my lower lip is swollen. We conclude that I was sleep walking, may or may not have actually used the toilet, but did in fact turn on the shower, then slipped, banged my head, and in the process tore the hose. As you can well imagine, I was somewhat concerned by this development. I certainly could have seriously hurt myself in these kind of wild cheese-shower escapades.

The take home message here folks is this: go easy on the cheese before bedtime.

Ironman Brasil!

2009-06-05T07:25:00.000-07:00

Full disclosure on results are at: http://www.championchipbrasil.com.br/resultados.asp?id_cliente=56

Before the race: Woke up around 4:30 and hurried down to the hotel breakfast. Wolfed down many a carbohydrate and headed to the race venue. Arrived, got set up and numbered and everything without a hitch. Couldn't really find the other members of our group until I went down to the beach. As I stood on the beach waiting for the start, I checked my heart rate. 130! Holy cow. I didn't feel that anxious or nervous but apparently I was...normally my HR is around 60 just standing around. yikes.

So, the swim. Before the swim there was this dog. super excited, little, and white, running up and down the beach. I was feeling a bit concerned for the dog and the danger of it getting run over by all the stampeding athletes. Volunteers were all holding a banner, which formed a sort of gate that would open eventually to let the dam break. A bit annoying was the lack of a countdown, just a cannon being shot off to tell us to go...that was a bit of a surprise. The swim was rough, the waves were short and steep, maybe 3 to 3.5' tall. I was sighting very frequently, breathing only one side and always having to lift my head way out of the water and frequently getting seawater rammed down my throat. My view was a constant switching of seeing just the murky water, waves, noise, maybe a buoy, but mostly other people. Very very chaotic and i was proud of myself for handling the pressure and chaos as well as i did. finally time to head back in and with the waves at my back much much easier to do it. Came out of the water, looked at watch, oh no 31 something minutes and i came out of the water wayyyy too far to the left, had to run quite a ways to go through the tent, then back out again. At that point I really didn't feel like getting back in. 2nd time seemed worse, far more waves, wonder why, and they seemed to come in pairs which was bothersome. but it went much much faster which was good. So very happy to see that time was under 57 minutes, which was a PR for me by about 40 seconds, and the previous time was in just about ideal conditions. Oh and also as i was approaching the shore my right hand suddently felt like it had stumbled into an acupuncture practice session...a jelly fish! stinging me!

Swim time: 56:56, 75th overall, 12th in age group

(warning: moderate amount of grossness follows in next paragraph!)
bike: after a good transition, bike started off alright. The legs didnt feel that good though for the first 2 hours or so; dont ask me why! Shoulders sore from the swimming, that has never happened before, it was literally my shoulder joints that hurt, not the muscles. I didnt feel super powerful, but I wasnt really trying to be super powerful. Just trying to keep a steady rhythm and power going through the whole thing. The wind made it a bit more challenging. Another challenge was that my HR monitor had decided to check out of the porter support club. it was working fine right before the race, oh well. The out and backs through the tunnel weren't super fun but the views riding along the beach in downtown were sufficient to keep one entertained. People passed me a fair bit, I guess due to the good swim time and the fact that the bike is my least strong leg. The first loop was a bit slow and then slowed a bit more on the 2nd. However one highlight from the bike portion was managing to pee not once but twice on the bike...on myself. Hey don't judge! Every minute counts! I saw several people slowing down, lowering pants and peeing while still rolling along. this struck me as a bad idea due to the inherent loss of control of the bike...so when the urge came to pee, i went! much easier than i imagined. and just think of all the time i saved.
Bike Time: 5:17.54, 176 overall, 19th in age group.

ahhhh so i was looking forward to the run so much. i have come to the conclusion that the run is my strength and so hoped to pass many people on the run. transition was seamless, I started out, the first k was too fast, 7:10 pace or so, but then the next 4k i worked very hard to bring the cart and horse under control to a pace healthily above 8 min/mile. i saw many people blazing out on the first miles and just thought to myself just wait my friends, just wait...
so the first loop, big hills. several of them. But, I told myself, no sweat. just shorten your stride and pace dramatically and you will be fine. And i was. The first 15 miles went by so easily, felt as though I was just gliding along. Took in plenty of calories, said hello to a number of spectators and fellow competitors, and was really enjoying the marathon. aaaaiieee then mile 15 things just ceased to be going so well. legs were punching their ticket and checking out of work. So i spent the next 11 miles doing some walking (d'oh!) and some painful running. towards the end, the last 8k, i was able to run a lot more consistently and finished with my mom! that was great. what bothered me the most was my mental attitude..during the run i found myself talking about giving ironman a break, etc, but luckily the poor attitude did not persist beyond the finish line...already signed up for another one next year!

I should also mention that it was my mom's b-day on race day! So it was really wonderful to have her down there for support and to finish with her!

Run time: 3:42, 171 overall, 26th in age group

Total Time: 10:02, 96th overall, 15th in age group. (1500 people total, about 120 in my age group)

thanks for reading!

Achieving Balance

2009-05-18T16:12:00.000-07:00

I'm a young fellow. As such, there is a particular spectrum of impulses and forces operating internally and externally upon me. A fairly strong one is the social drive. Girls! Bonfires! Staying up late! Having fun! Another impulse that I've become intimately familiar with over the past 3 years is to push myself, to compete with myself, to always be better, striving for better fitness and performance. Rarely in the past do they interfere; I feel that I have successfully balanced the two (or perhaps from another perspective, pushed the social drive to the side in the quest for performance). I've been able to sacrifice a bit here and there, and sometimes a lot here and there, for training. And rarely do I give it a second thought or feel much wistfulness.

But I guess I've come to learn that one's bank account of willpower is not bottomless; and it would seem that maybe I am starting to scrape the bottom. With the race so near, comes a surge of emotions. There is excitement, anxiety, hopes and fears for the race, but also the anticipation of a large release of pressure, a relaxing of schedules and bedtimes. That anticipation is starting to rear it's head, and I felt my motivation and commitment falter this weekend. I guess it's good that it comes now, instead of in the middle of February, at least. The training is essentially done, all that is left is to maintain the machinery in good working order and arrive the starting line in top shape.

So what's the conclusion? I'm ready to race and just need to make that last push to get focused and make it to Jurere Beach rarin' to go, and afterwards savor my summer and (hopefully) my Kona slot. The girls and bonfires will be waiting!

Eastside Training Group!

2009-05-12T08:35:00.000-07:00

Have you ever desired to sheathe yourself in neoprene, clad yourself in spandex, and get drenched in your own sweat? Is there something missing from your life? Does that something happen to be the BEST sport in the world, endurance athletics? If so, and you live in/near Bellevue, have I got good news for you. Starting June 18th, myself and like-minded individuals interested in running/triathlon will be meeting once weekly on Thursday evenings to trade ideas and train. Possible activities include swimming, biking, running, and Twister! We'll be meeting in the Lake Hills neighborhood. So if you're interested drop me a line, porterbratten@gmail.com and stay tuned for more details!

Self-Reflection

2009-05-08T15:52:00.000-07:00

A few events have occurred in my life that have led me to a bit of self-examination and reflection. One of those things was during a morning run on Tuesday--physically I was running back home from the I-90 trail, but mentally I was in Brazil. Race day visualizations are emphasized for their ability to enhance mental performace come race day, so that's what I was doing; specifically, I was envisioning the run.

The sensations of pain and fatigue are pretty much impossible to recreate spontaneously (luckily), but I was thinking about them, as I know that in order to put together the kind of race I want I'll have to dig deep on the run. I was also thinking about the exhilaration that I know will be coming as I get closer and closer to the finish. Quite unexpectedly, I began to feel quite emotional, just trotting along in Bellevue, but transported to Florianopolis. Surprised by this, I quickly returned to the here and now.

That experience brought a fairly obvious but sometimes brushed aside reality to the forefront of my mind: that I am very well "invested" in this race. The above experience told me how much I am invested emotionally, and any one of my friends/family members/fellow primates can tell you that I'm socially invested, and only I (and coach Ben as well) know how invested I am physically.

The comparison to an investment of course brings about a valid question: am I over-invested? How much have my other assets suffered as a result of this campaign? Or has this experience served to show me the unnecessary things that could be shed from my life, leaving only the essentials? This question is something that one must answer for themselves, but only after being well tapped in to the feedback from the support system of the most important individuals in their lives.

Another self-searching question that should be asked is "why do you REALLY do triathlons?" I would venture to say that for the person spending 10+ hours per week training is not doing it just to "get healthy" or any of the back-of-the-cereal-box reasons. (at this point I am borrowing heavily from a Ben Greenfield article, whose writing I find to be a bit cocky and arrogand, but I did like what he had to say in this particular piece). There is in all likelihood some kind of emotional and/or irrational cause for the pursuit of fitness/competition. Furthermore in all likelihood I bet it is either tied to:

--pride

--body image

--addiction

--desire for control

If one realizes that they are being fueled by any of the above, that doesn't mean one should stop. Rather, by realizing your motivations, you will have greater control over your life, greater agency, to dictate to what degree and how training will control/influence your life, and consequently, those in your life. That, however, is a gradual process--coming to terms with these issues and placing in check the appetites that reside in us is a life-long process.

To sum up: I was running, I just about lost it when thinking about IMB; I realized I'm in pretty deep; but that's okay, as long as I acknowledge that I'm in deep (and the key players in my life are okay with that).

Back to monkey business!

Daze Off

2009-05-04T16:49:00.000-07:00

This is a blog post about days off. Get it? The blog entry title is a pun!

Okay so Saturday there was a good deal of training to be done--30 min open water swim, 4.5 hour bike and then a 90 minute run. I was pretty excited about it. I started off the swim at the pool (open water swim at the beginning of May ya right!) and felt a little bleah. As soon as I started the bike though a sudden and drastic wave of apprehension swept over me. My legs were toast! As crumpled-up as the clothes on my bedroom floor! As fried as the eggs in my egg and bacon sandwich! As dead as Abraham Lincoln! This was very sad to me. So after spinning for 15 minutes and nothing doin', I called it quits. This was a difficult decision (read: big athletic ego bruised) but in the end I knew it to be better than try and flog myself through the session.

It is only in the last 6 weeks or so that I have been encountering this phenomenon of taking forced rest due to thick, layered fatigue. It has been one heckuva learning experience. I've come to realize that it's not one single, or even a few, workouts that makes you a competitor; it's the consistent dedication of weeks and weeks of training, the thousands of little decisions that cumulatively makes one better. Going to bed 15 minutes earlier, skipping the doughnuts at work, taking a freaking ice bath, or whatever, those things make the difference. Best not to get too upset about one workout, but relish the extra rest. So Sunday was also a rest day. boy oh boy.

But then, this (Monday) morning I had a 3 hour bike workout, and nailed! it. I obliterated that session. I am a cottage of wattage. Haven't felt that good on the bike in a long time. So there you go.

Take home message: excellence=cumulative result of many small decisions, all leading the individual towards a specific goal, place, or whatever. Consistency makes for champions.

Potential

2009-03-24T14:31:00.000-07:00

Just how much potential does one have? Right now, I am trying to focus on as many positive things as I can. Something very positive that happened this weekend was running/zoo visit.

First, I say that 'it happened.' I don't say "I achieved." I choose these words because my race results are the cumulative results of many more elements than just my own efforts. Granted, I was the one that did the training leading into the race, and I was the one that did the race. But I'm trying to focus as well on other people, and not just myself. Many people have helped me to get to where I am today; without them I wouldn't be who I am, and wouldn't be able to all that I am capable of today.

So what happened? It was a 20 mile running race, and I did it in 2:14.30, for a 6:44 pace and 7th place overall. I was extremely pleased with this. The first mile was 6:36 and I thought to myself 'aw geez I can't maintain this pace for 20 miles' and I was right, it was just slightly slower. A few highlights from the race:

--my gu got super cold and so I couldn't get it out of the flask that I was carrying it in! Started to kind of bonk at mile 16 but held it together

--saw my friend Tamara Mackey at about mile 12, who told me I was cruising!

--got to take a shower right after the race at the high school where they held the race; very nice.

--two songs rotated through my head the entire time: "Your Protector" by the Fleet Foxes and "Lay Low" by My Morning Jacket; check them out, yo!

Doing the race has let me see that when I can combine the proper, supportive environment with consistent, quality training, healthy habits, an objective outside observer and my natural talent and a well-balanced (but strong!) work ethic, I can really surprise myself.

2009-03-17T10:24:00.001-07:00

... And then after:

2009-03-17T10:23:00.001-07:00

Some darned beautiful pizza before...

A New Flavor of Fatigue

2009-02-28T11:52:00.000-08:00

So, the week of training down here in Tucson is wrapping up. There's been about 30 hours of training in six days, which is way, way more than I've ever done. Dag yo.

As a result, I'm feeling a bit tired. But, I gotta say, it's a new flavor of tired. I can think of a few different kinds that I've identified and perhaps you are familiar with.

1.) I've been sitting all day and working and not really doing anything but yet somehow I feel exhausted tired. This is what I feel taking the bus home and it's just like bleaaaaahh. However, I am pretty much always able to get it to bugger off by doing something active and physical. You're not really tired; you're just letting yourself believe you're tired. Gotta clear out that mind sometimes.

2.) Boy I just did a big workout and now I am tired but feeling the buzz. This is what I feel after the mid-length to longer workouts. You finish, shower, and after getting a bit of fuel back in, I feel pretty darned fantastic. I feel tired, and recognize that my body has been through a bit, but I feel very energized and ready to think, produce, talk, and in general feel good. Not good enough to go climb a mountain or anything, but energized.

3.) Holy crap I did a long workout and now I am toast. This is what you feel after a long workout and the rest of the day you're dragging. Still get the buzz afterwards, but quite fried and done for the day.

4.) This is the "gee I just trained a whole lot in the hot sun of Tucson" tired. It's so very subtle. I am sitting here typing and everything is just sort of a background fatigue. Imagine being in fog. You can see shapes and forms and the like, and what's immediately around you, but it's all just a bit indistinct and greyish. Replace the fog with fatigue and that's the flavor of the week!

Intensely Subdued

2009-02-19T11:06:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was one of the more subdued and simultaneously intense experiences of my life. For the first time, I went to, gulp, an addiction recovery meeting. It is organized by the Church. It took me a while to find the darned room, but I did, and walked into a room full of non-judgmental people all looking to overcome their addictions. Hence the subdued part. It was very calm and relaxed. But there was an underlying tension both on my side of things and also with everyone. On my side of things, because this process is requiring me to do some serious unearthing of issues, feelings, emotions, habits, tendencies, etc. In my past, mostly solo, efforts at overcoming this, I was relying primarily on myself, and each time I tried to move past the problem, I would simply try to cover up the issue by filling my head with other thoughts. This time around, I am relying on the Lord for help, and so things are proceeding in the Lord's way. Part of this is a "searching, fearless moral inventory." I am accomplishing this, thus far, through study, writing, and asking myself searching questions. The slightly painful thing is that these questions go so deep--they force you to look deep down inside yourself. In doing this, I have learned that really, I've got issues. This is not a good thing or a bad thing! It's just the way that I am. But really, on the outside, I seem like a pretty normal guy. So I wonder about other people and the things that they've got buried...everyone's got something to hide. But anyways. It's intense to unearth so much about oneself and bring things to light that you've either tried to forget, or that you weren't even aware of. At the same time, it's subdued, because all of this change is so invisible, internal, and experienced entirely in my consciousness only.

So! That's a bit heavy, I'd say. On the lighter side, I did a 5km time trial yesterday, and did it in 19:07, which represents a personal best for me. Go Chimpy!

By the way, the above picture is from this summer, cycling in the Veneto. Man what a place!

I'm Back!

2009-02-17T09:58:00.000-08:00

I'm back!

From a dearth of posts to this blog, and from some down-times. First, why the lack of posts by me? Well, it's pretty simple. Where's the economic stimulus package for me to do so? My readership can be counted on one hand by a dude who had an accident with a band saw, so what's the point in me putting in the effort to blog? Good question. But I enjoy it nonetheless, and it had just slipped off my radar for a while.

I am going to make an effort in the future to write very frequently to this, as honestly as I feel is prudent, about what's on my mind at the moment. Here's what I want to talk about today:

1. Why I Like Diet Soda
2. Songs/Bands That I Think are going to Hit It Big
3. Addiction Recovery
3.b. Gratitude

So, Diet Soda. I pretty much love diet soda. No calories, fizzy, fun, flavorful, and freshening. I've been enjoying Diet Pepsi and Wild Cherry Diet Pepsi for a while. At work, I've been branching out into Diet Coke, Diet Dr. Pepper, and Caffeine Free Diet Coke (tastes meah). I am looking to explore some other vintages, such as Pepsi Max, Diet Mountain Dew (quiet you protesters), and Diet Pepsi with Lime. I supremely enjoy a tall glass of soda, mixed with water (both to extend the experience and to water down the sweetness/carbonation), on the rocks.

Ah yes, songs. So, in retrospect I was quite successful at predicting the success of people like Jack Johnson, M.I.A., and Peter Bjorn and John. It's true! I did. So, I am going to make a prediction or two about some songs that I've been listening to a lot and really enjoying.

Song Number One: Daylight by Matt and Kim
Song Number Two: Help I'm Alive by Metric

Now, granted, the second song has already started to become more played, but still. They're both great songs.

Addiction Recovery...now that's a bit heavier. I had a really good period of about 2 weeks where I was doing really, really well with eating right. The thing that I noticed was that I wasn't really all that happy...or rather, I was letting so many small things ruin my contentment. I was making mountains out of mole hills, getting irritated with people, situations, and things, and letting those distractions take away from my own personal victories. This distraction led me to forget the reason that I was happy in the first place (overcoming addiction), stop doing the things that help to keep me strong (scripture study and prayer), and ultimately led to a relapse.
However, over the weekend, I was able to gradually turn this ship around. Everytime that I fall down, I learn something new, that will help me in the future, and this was no exception. I have reaffirmed my desires to accomplish my goals, and recommitted to the activities that I need to do to keep myself moving towards those goals. Some of those big goals that I like to keep in my mind are:

1. 9:20 at IM Brazil (you knew it was going to be here, so why not put it first?)
2. Celestial Marriage
3. Spritual Progress
4. Increase Gratitude
5. Triathlon = Job
6. Buy a House in 2010

Stay tuned as I attempt to update this blog more frequently!

Cause for Sorrow

2008-12-20T11:24:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading The Life of Pi. It is a wonderful book, and towards the beginning, states that the story has a happy ending. After finishing it, I talked with a friend about this statement; she thought it was a sad story, due to Pi's loss of his family, and his ordeal. I thought it was a happy story. I came to the conclusion that a valid reason for sorrow is when a rational being consciously makes a decision they know to be harmful to themselves or to others. When someone knows something is wrong and still does it. When good people stand by and let bad things happen. Life and its circumstances are outside of our control; it is the world within our sphere of influence where the story is made tragedy or comedy.
In the story, there are lamentable events. People are eaten, families die. Pi passes through trials, but his sanity, humanity, and spirituality seem to pass through intact. I think it is a happy story. You should read it.

The Power of Choice

2008-12-09T17:59:00.000-08:00

It's about the power of choice, as one of our essential characteristics as human beings. This ability is by far the most important one that we have. Without it, we'd simply be at the whim of circumstance and instinct. With it, we are the master of our lives. Samuel Johnson said:

The fountain of knowledge must spring up in the mind, and he who hath so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition, will waste his life in fruitless efforts and multiply the grief he proposes to remove.

I acknowledge that much of my present material and social stability is due to the 'luck of the draw'; that is, I was born into a middle class family in the US. As a person belonging to a minority within the context of the human race, I always feel a bit of hesitation to spout off about how each individual is ultimately responsible for their situation. But it is still true. The power of choice can never be taken away from anyone, regardless of the situation they may find themselves in.

This concept is also discussed in a scripture:

Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself.

This topic has been on my mind a good deal, in the context of my present efforts to reform my eating habits. One day at a time...

Another Zen Week

2008-12-07T21:04:00.000-08:00

The above is the battleship Wisconsin--launched, interestingly, exactly 2 years after Pearl Harbor, which happened exactly 67 years ago. Lest we forget...

This dude Confucius said:

"Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall"

I am definitely not in the habit of Zen anything (particularly motorcycle maintenance--although I did pass my motorcycle driving test today so perhaps that will change in the near future) but this quote has some relevance for me today.

As I was sitting on the bike today, waiting my turn to practice various maneuvers, I was hit with wave after wave of regret. I allowed myself to do this, to play the 'what if' game, to think about what I would do differently. I decided that if I could be given anything, it would be a chance to live the last 12 months over. I started to think about the many mistakes that I've made, the bad habits I've developed, and the decline of my life over the last period of time. Obviously, very negative, self-destructive thinking, and absolutely useless for anything. Luckily, I didn't allow this to last for too long, but it still got me to thinking about what I can do now.

This past week started out on an excellent note--happy--and stayed that way for most of it, until the weekend. I definitely fell off the wagon, eating-wise, and am just now climbing back on. Which brings me back to the quote at the beginning. If anything, I am tenacious.

Sometimes, I feel as though I am fighting for my life. Not, obviously, in the sense of my mortality, but in the sense of reclaiming my happiness, values, identity, self-worth, path, and destiny. I mean, I am in control, and I know that, but it doesn't always feel that way.

But aside from analyzing this thing overly so, and writing and talking about it, the only thing to do is to try again. So, here goes....

The Switch and Support Team

2008-12-03T20:47:00.000-08:00

The above is from, as far as I can remember, the __first__ bike ride I ever took as preparation for a triathlon. Way back in '05 baby.

I stumbled across a post on another person's blog. Here is the link. I don't totally abide with everything on this person's blog, but I will say that she__hit__the__nail__on__the__head, when it comes to how I feel about healthy/unhealthy eating. When the switch is on, it is the easiest thing in the world to say no to the fudge, cookies, chocolates and taffy. (incidentally all things available at work just today) Whereas when the switch is off, it is all I can do to get all the junk food I can find into my mouth. Perhaps you think I'm exaggerating...but believe me, I'm not. Anyways, I certainly empathize with the blogger and perhaps now those who read this can better understand my difficulties.

On a very different note, we had a 'roomate meeting' this evening. One topic discussed was how much I rely on assistance from the fam during training periods, in particular while getting ready for Florida. I think you'd have to be a fool to think that one can balance:

a full time job
dedicated Ironman training
all the other stuff one does whilst not training (this covers religious, social, chores, and everything else)

and not go crazy OR do it without a lot of help from their circle of support. Hopefully though next go around (Brazil) I will have learned a few things about time management to require less sacrifice on the part of my support team. Gordo said some pretty good stuff in a post of his a little while back. Here is the juicy part:

As an aside, last week a friend asked me how he could get a person to care more about their career (the underlying point, possibly, being that if this person improved their career then he could focus more on his non-career goals).

Some points...

a -- if I could only get my wife to support me more... // consider if you are worthy of support! If you want someone to support you then they need to believe in you and deeply desire to help you. In other words, the support that we receive from our inner circle is directly proportional to the support we give back. True leadership is earned and must be personified/renewed daily. If you are seeking leadership so that you can kick back and cruise on the efforts of others -- your team will see through you, immediately.

b -- placing the burden of our achievement on another person -- these are fear-based excuses. True leadership comes from creating our own circumstances for success.

c -- Every morning ask yourself, what are the actions that I can take (today) that will directly impact my ability to achieve my goals? Most people spend their time on items that have ZERO bearing on what they are seeking to achieve. Does constantly surfing the internet directly support the most important items in your life? These habits are tough to break -- I know because I'm working on it too!

What he says above ties in really well with what I am reading in 'The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.' Good stuff.

Character Driven vs. Details Driven

2008-12-01T13:05:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking a bit lately about processes and their drivers. I've broken them down into two categories--details and character, with the vast majority of input from our society falling into the former. Here are their key characteristics:

Details Process

often used in marketing--"secret", "tip", "exclusive", "new"
relies on making small tweaks (details) to obtain big results
uses personality to compel others to action
removes accountability from individuals for their difficulties

Character Process

gradual process
often involves a greater shift of self-view, not world-view
internal--does not rely on others, artifice, or gimmick
becomes easier with time

In writing this down, it all becomes obvious to me. This seems to be fairly common with me--after a lengthy thought process, I finally write something down, only to see how self-evident (and obvious) it is. But that said, that kind of thought process seems to be essential for any kind of self-development or progression as a rational, kind person.

The breakdown into the two above categories can be applied to most any situation, I believe. The places I see it the most are diet/nutrition strategies and training protocols, since those are what I investigate the most. So which one is better? (Hint: It's not the first.)

Handy Excel Spreadsheet for PowerTap Data YA!

2008-11-28T11:50:00.000-08:00

Okay, so a rough draft of the spreadsheet has been made. You can take a look at it here. Export is as a .xls spreadsheet to your own machine.

In order to use it you need to first export your pt data as a .csv file and then paste it into the "data" sheet, and then adjust the formulas on "analysis" so that it gets all the data, and input the time and your 1 hr threshold wattage. Feedback is welcome and desired. I will be improving this as time goes on to make it more and more awesome.

My Thoughts

2008-11-27T21:19:00.000-08:00

It wasn't all that long ago that I came pretty darned close to losing everything. It's a particular part of being human that our perspectives can become so overwhelmingly relative to our situation. Fortunately, sometimes experiences intervene to remind us of the importance of not just observing the world around us, but observing what our vantage point. For anyone who knows the significance of the above picture, hopefully they know what I mean.

Thanksgiving was good...too much pie, if that's possible.

I think it is possible.

I've decided that it would be good if I put things up here other than just race reports. So, what's going on with me? I've decided that before the new year rolls around, I'd like to do some assessment of where I'm at in life, make some goals, and the like. So what did I accomplish in 2008? Let's see:

1. Completed internship over at Navatek in Hawaii, had a great time training there

2. Did my first half iron--5 flat tires, but didn't drop out. I consider that significant.

3. Completed my senior thesis

4. Graduated from college

5. Did my first ironman

6. Am slowly coming to terms with a low-level eating disorder

Why did I put that last one in my accomplishments? I feel that the problem has been 'lurking' for a while and I am now beginning to understand it more completely. With any problem this internal, what I said at the beginning with regards to perspective becomes so essential. Having an external perspective (i.e. a friend, family member, or professional) to help out here is a key to success.

What are my goals for 2009? Here they are, thus far:

1. Be a good employee for my employer (i.e, an investment that begins to pay some dividend in the form of sellable services).

2. Put in consistent and quality training for IM Brasil and qualify for Kona at the race.

3. Achieve a greater balance between work, training, social, family, religious and other commitments, through better planning and discipline (i.e. do in the future what I am saying right now).

4. Learn to be a good motorcycle rider (!)

5. Put on a quality, athlete oriented multisport event in the Puget Sound region.

I think that is enough for now.

Take a look at my training plan/log for December.

Oh yeah! One last thing. I am putting together a spreadsheet that will easily calculate some very relevant training parameters from a .csv file format from your PowerTap. Should be here soon!

I did it!

2008-11-07T09:53:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, I must give my grateful acknowledgements to my mom and Jeff. They have come to so many of my races (really I have pretty much dictated their vacation plans for the last year or two) and have done so much to help me get here. I would not have been able to do it without them (well maybe I could have but it would have been a very hollow achievement). In the end Ironman is great but there are things enormously more rewarding and important, the family.

Panama City Beach is a delightful place in November. It's not humid, nice and sunny, a bit chilly at night but quite pleasantly warm during the day. The beaches are as white as ground up elephant ivory and the sea is a lovely bluey-green, which bears no resemblance to the mucky brown gulf of mexico I have seen lurking around houston. And it is the south, holy cow. Waffle Houses abound and don't go talking about Obama.

There is a great deal of hoop-lah built up around the race. First off, the race directors have arranged it such that one must arrive a couple of days beforehand (definitely a good idea anyways) for registration and such. And holy cow, what an operation. THere are something like 2300 athletes, plus 3000 volunteers, plus all the spectators/supporters (I would guess at another 3000 at least) and they are ALL trying to buy their official IM Florida mug, tow hitch plug, drink koozy (does anyone really know how to spell that word?), beanie and all manner of IM-branded paraphernalia. I of course am above such materialism and restricted myself to purchasing a sole t-shirt and sticker. But the rest of the place is a zoo...vendors, people selling granola and cookies, indoor pools, bicycles, it's just nuts. So I tried to stay away and maintain my zen. Or more like my non-chalantness....'yeah, its my first IM, but you know, whatever man...no big deal.' A bit about non-chalantness in a bit.

Okay so we got all that stuff taken care of....it was time for the race. Get up early, eat oatmeal and banana, etc. Got dropped off and set up my stuff. Throughout all of this, I felt really really calm. It seemed to me that one doing their first IM should have been feeling a bit more anxious/nervous etc. I even slept pretty well the night before. I did experience two periods of nervousness, both at work, once on Friday from 2:17 to 2:28 pm and the other on the bus ride home between the S 128th st and burien transit park and ride.

So we are all assembled on the beach, waiting to go. The pros had started 10 minutes prior. Keep in mind, there's about 2300 athletes, one pretty darned wide beach, all shooting for one buoy. The course is out and around buoys in a rectangular formation, done twice. So we start and wheeeee it is like a washing machine except that instead of an agitator its a bunch of neoprene covered arms and legs. Luckily for me, not only does the hurly-burly not bug me, but I enjoy the flailing/beating. Things started to clear out but would always bunch up again around the buoys. Around we went. Things were going great. I felt very relaxed, warm, and FAST. I went around the first lap in 28 minutes or so. Inbetween laps you run up on the beach and back into the water. The hardest part was goign from swimming to running and back to swimming. All the blood got way confused about like where should I go??? Arms, legs? I am so lost! (thats the blood talking). Swim was done, time was 57:47 which was about 5 or 6 minutes faster than I was expecting. Fantastic!! I was ecstatic, like when you find out you've been offered at a fantastic place like Glosten. (little company plug)

Now the bike....well first the transition. Very speedy, its great having all those volunteer peeps to help you out. Some nice young ladies slathered some sunscreen on my back. I contemplated lingering to discuss with them their spring break plans but in the end decided to go for a bike ride. It was pretty chilly and so for the first 2 hours or so I really couldnt feel a whole lot of anything. My strategy for the bike was to find a nice speedy group in which to lurk. I didn't find one for a while....then as we were headed up some highway I spied in the distance a school of cyclists...they were a ways away and moving briskly, but I knew that I had to catch them. I told myself they were not only competing in an ironman but also carried with them gourmet artisanal cheeses and avril lavigne was in the pack too. But boy it took a while to catch them and boy it took a lot of work on my part. But I got em finally. I stuck with them for the next 40 miles or so, over hill and dale, through florida. It was fun at the bike aid stations, trying to grab water bottles out of peoples hands whilst rolling along at 20 mph. At a certain point, at about mile 75 or so the group fell apart and disintegrated. That was dissapointing. So I made the decision to bridge up to the next group that I could barely see on the straightaways. Boy that took a while too and took a lot of work too...300 watts was showing up far too often on my powermeter. but I finally made it and stuck with that group for a long while. Towards the end, mile 90 or so, I really had to pee. So I tried to go on the bike. Boy that was tricky. I realized that both the actions of pedaling and peeing involve muscles. Now while I am capable of using different muscles simultaneously to do things like change the channel while eating popcorn, or rubbing my belly whilst patting my head, I am not capable of unleashing my bladder and pedaling. So I resigned myself to stopping at the next porta potty. As soon as my high speed pee was done, I resumed biking and was utterly alone...no other bikers in sight. So I spent the last 20 miles or so solo, which was fine as I was able to hunker down super aero style and break the 'porter bratten riding a bicycle in florida' land speed record. Bike time was 4:59 for an average speed of 22.47 mph which was exactly what I wanted, a sub 5 hour bike. yippee!

During the bike I thought to myself (no joking) that if I am super hero, my super power was definitely IM non-chalancity. At no point before the race did I get all freaked out and even during the race I never wondered to myself what the heck am I doing, aaaaah, this is so hard, or any of the things one might expect. Instead I thought about things like peeing, french canadians, and other random stuff. and about my superpowers. because they are indeed super.

Now for the run. Ah the run. i had been looking forward to it because I had heard the female volunteers were super attractive. ha yeah right. There were a lot of boy scouts. They're not very attractive at all. Anyways, I started out and took the first 6 miles definitely too fast...7:19 miles when the plan was above 8 min/mile. d'oh. But you know I felt all good and so I was going too fast...oh well. The run course was out and back, done twice. It went through some very thick spectator support areas before heading into a bit more sparse residential areas and then a lovely state park with nice dunes. Not too much to say about it (bet thats a relief for those of you who have made it this far) but the first 13 miles were pretty easy, I was feeling good and taking in the calories with warm coke, gatorade, pretzels and the occasional cookie. yum. The second 13 miles....whoooo boy. That was when the whole 'iron' thing came into play I think. It was pretty much just make it from aid station to aid station. I started walking the aid stations, which felt pretty good, and just started telling myself, over and over, 11 miles, 10 miles, etc. It was really painful. My quads were just going nuts. My compression shorts I think were the only thing holding them together. Two or three times I just started walking inbetween an aid station, such was the pain. But hey if it was easy they wouldnt charge you 500 bucks and call you an ironman right?!

The miles winded down until it was just 2, then 1...A peculiar thing happened when there was about a half mile left. I started getting all....emotional! I was happy to be nearly done for sure, but my upper lip got all funny and I was obliged to 'hold it in.' The finish line drew near...I had thought for a while about what to do at the finish line but ended up just running across it, into the arms of the volunteers. And then I could let it out...I didn't bawl or anything but I did cry a little bit and then my mom was there and it was perfect and I was done. We went into the tent and sat down. A few times I just randomly let out a little sob and I was done!!! My coach came over and we talked a bit, I ate, got a massage, ate some more and I was done!! yay!!! And I loved it! Truly. It went pretty flawless, especially for a first timer, and my run time was 3:38, for a total time of 9:38.20, 107/2268 overall and 10/111 in my age group. yippee! Here I come ironman brasil!

To those of you who have read this far, congratulations, you have just made it through your first ironman-distance race report. As a parting picture, here's me with my coach and biggest and best sponsors.

Black Diamond Half Iron Race Report Yee-haw!

2008-09-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

Yes, I was one happy camper. Yesterday (Saturday, September 13th) I raced in the Black Diamond Half Iron Triathlon. Going into the race I had a fairly wide range of emotions. First of all, I had just started working that week after graduating from college, having the whole summer off, and then going off to Italy for a few weeks. So it was a time of fairly rapid transitions (though my T1 in the race was not that rapid, unfortunately). However, I was quite relaxed going into it, probably because I was so busy that week that I had no time to think about it! I was a little nervous too, (duh, who isn't before a race?) as last time I did a half I got 5 flat tires! So I did a little no-flat tire dance before the race.

The day was quite foggy at the start, so the race announcer delayed by going over the course in painstaking detail 16 times. Or at least it seemed that way. We finally started though. I literally swam over two men. That was fun. It's like when you're little and punch the air and say "I'm going to do this and walk around and if you get in my way it's your fault." But this time it's allowed! But the swim went really well. I settled into a rhythm really fast, my heart rate stayed pretty low and I was cruising along, like a nuclear ballistic missile. I even tried drafting behind some guys, but it reminded me too much of swimming in a washing machine...this guy had a very slow but very forceful 1-2 kick... But then after the first loop, I accidentally (I guess that goes without saying) missed a buoy. Some people in a canoe told me to go back , so I think I missed about 45 seconds because of that. Darn! But I exited the water in a fine, fine time of 30:46.

T1...you know the drill. Not too speedy but I was so tickled by my PR swim that I was just enjoying the moment. Probably not too appropriate for a race but whatever.

The bike...I hopped on and me and Spirodon headed out. I took the bike really quite easy (or so I thought.) My HR started out quite high but I brought it down and kept in the 140s-150s throughout the race. I used the "3 bike length" drafting rule as much as I could by hanging out behind some speedy fellows. I also purposefully ignored the time and my average speed. Then, lo and behold when I was about 2 miles from the end, I was on track for a PR in the bike as well! I say that, having practiced half a dozen times on the bike course before, and I was on track to beat all those times! Fantastic! I was elated! I hadn't been looking forward to the run prior to this but now I was ecstatic, knowing now that sub 5 hours was possible! Bike time: 2:39:31 !

I knew the run was going to be hard, for sure. But luckily I had a nice big fatty 1:45 to get sub 5 hours. So I started out a bit quicker than I intended, 7:15 for the first mile and tried to slow down. However my legs just seemed to love that pace so I adopted the run run run then occasionally walk tactic, which seemed to work pretty well. I probably walked for 30 seconds in each mile. I was very pleased with my mental attitude throughout the race. I used to "race angry", yelling at myself and others, in my mind. This time, I just tried to be more positive, thanking volunteers, encouraging myself and other competitors.

All in all a fantastic race for myself. I wasn't super confident about the sub 5 going into it, but as with most races, I have managed to surprise myself! A phrase I kept repeating to myself throughout the race was "You're faster than you think"...I think I saw it in an ad somewhere but it definitely applies to myself and to most people I think.

The Rest of My Life So Far

2008-07-29T09:59:00.000-07:00

It would be more appropriate, timewise, to put up a picture of me in the STP; I don't have those yet, so instead here's a picture from a good while back. That's my mom and I, after the Bainbridge Island (Winter) Solstice Run, in 2005. Hot dang! That's a while back. I think that was my second 5k after getting back from my mission. I look a bit different now.

Psych you out, boy.

Every summer and winter work term, some member of the class would send an email to the rest of, invariably entitled "My Summer/Winter So Far", which would then prompt a flurry of emails from the rest of us, detailing what we had been up to. I vowed at graduation to be the first to send out an similar summary email....hence the title of this blog.

I had some very high expectations for all the things I would do/see/accomplish this summer. Then again, I pretty much always go into things with high expectations for myself. This summer, though, I've only accomplished a small fraction of those things. I pulled out of the Lake Stevens 70.3; I haven't lost the desired weight; etc. But of course, it's never good to dwell on the negative. I did do the STP in one day! That's one thing. So I'm trying not to dwell on those empty check boxes and instead trying to make the most of what I've got left. And, I am bucking down for the upcoming half at Black Diamond and then IMFL. whoo boy. Here's a rough idea of what I try to fit into one week:

Swim:

1.) Long Open Water Swim (longest so far is 1.5 miles, working up to 2.4)

2.) Short Open Water Swim (generally .8 or 1 mile)

3.) Base Intervals (lots of 6,8, etc x 200, around 2700-3000 yd)

4.) Base + Sprint Intervals (10x100 then maybe 8x50 sprint, 2500-2700 yd)

5.) Fartlek Intervals (main set is maybe 6x150, 50 build, 25 easy, etc. 2500 yd)(definitely my least favorite)

Bike:

1.)LSD (4-5 maybe 6 hours. Lots of fun.)

2.) Recovery Ride...maybe 1-2 hour, just like it says, recovery

3.) Steady State Ride (1.5-2 hour at high aerobic state)

4.) Hills or Speed Intervals

Run:

1.) LSD..right now only 1.5 hour but working up to 2.5-3 hours

2.) Run skillz...jog to a local grassy field, do strides, drills, etc, then easy jog back

3.) Track Workout (4x800 seems like a good hard workout)

4.) Transition Run off long bike ride

5.) Hill Repeats..not so much fun but very good

6.) Easy recovery run. I know that a recovery run is a bit of an oxymoron..but there's a reason.

Over the winter, I spent about 7 or 8 weeks, running 7 times a week. A lot of those runs were just short 30 min jogs with maybe a few strides. I noticed that running with that kind of frequency did more for lowering my PRE and HR during runs than any training prior to this. So I'm trying to do that again, albeit with 6, not 7 weekly runs. It was pretty hard on my legs.

I've been contemplating getting a coach....watch the blog in the next few weeks to see whether or not that will happen. Also on the horizon is a new place (condo on the Eastside) and a new ride (car...not as exciting as a bike but very useful.) whoo boy!

As a parting thought, remember...watch out for aliens:

New Sponsors and Gordo Byrn

2008-07-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

Buongiorno,

It gives me pleasure to say that I now have three, count em three, sponsors. GU and Rudy Project are now my sponsors in addition to SunriseTri. I am starting to feel pretty darned cool.

Also, a little while ago I wrote a question to Gordo Byrn. He is a triathlete/coach/investment banker and writes an excellent blog here. He seems to have one of the clearest minds I've ever seen, does a very good job of analyzing success/failure, inside and outside of tris, and is also pretty nice to boot. I would not have expected to get such a well-thought out response from most people in his position. You can read my question and his answer here. Enjoy.

A Fond Farewell to Long Island and....Sunrise Tri, Seattle Edition!

2008-06-23T06:59:00.000-07:00

All good things must come to an end, so they say....but also, all things with which we maintain a tumultuous love/hate relationship over 6 long years must come to an end as well. Thank goodness. On Saturday I graduated. Hallelujah. I could write a good deal about Webb Institute and our history, but instead I'll sum it up, because I mean, who really reads this except for the people that have already heard and seen the long story? I hated Webb my first year there and did not expect to return. But, I took the advice of my mom, and came back for my sophomore year. Since then I have steadily come to dislike it less and less, and even to really appreciate all of it's idiosyncrasies. Like a bizarre girlfriend or something. I will miss it, and even more so all the people that I've spent the last few years with.

It is also to a fantastic team, Sunrise Tri, that I must bid a fond farewell to. I wish that I had been able to partipate more in team training events and such but the things I was able to do were immensely fun. It is so stinkin' rewarding to participate on a team. I will miss the group.

However......

It gives me great pleasure to announce that the creation of a Seattle branch of Team Sunrise Tri! That's right, you read correctly. Interested? You're darn right you are. Check back for more info. Soon.

A New Frame and 100 miles

2008-06-15T08:04:00.000-07:00

Whooooo boy! I now have in my possession (or perhaps stewardship is a better word) a brand spankin' new Specialized Tarmac Pro Frame, courtesy of none other than Specialized. You see, a few weeks ago, for a graduation present, I had received from my dear mother an '07 Tarmac Comp. It was exquisite, and fantastic, and a good deal more buttery smooth than my previous road bike, an '05 Specialized Allez...nothing against the bike but it was purchased at a time when it wasn't clear if this triathlon thing was merely a phase or something that I would become truly enamored with. I've mostly finished putting it all together; pictures are forthcoming.

Also, I did 100 miles yesterday. My speed was okay; nothing fantastic, but I'm very pleased with how spring I am feeling today. I slept for 10 hours, which is something I don't normally do (not out of lack of desire, mind you) and I think that had something to do with it. The picture to the left is the one and only picture I took during the ride. After taking it, I realized that if I took pictures of everything that I wanted to visually record, I would never finish, such was the fineness of the scenery.

Mighty Montauk Race Report

2008-06-08T05:31:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a long day. It was Saturday, June 7, and it started at 5:50 and ended at 2 something....allow me to explain. I was in Montauk with two of my classmates for the Robert J. Aaron Memorial Triathlon. After a tasty pizza dinner in town, I was up later than I would have liked trying to resolve some.....grrrrrrrrr...bike mechanical issues. Re-doing the rear brake cable proved to be impossible. I've never felt quite so aggravated, as I had already spent many hours over the past few days trying to get the bike 100% ready.

But, as I later came to realize, it's just one race. There will be many, many others. One of my classmates was feeling quite poorly and so suggested vehemently that I race using his bike while he spectated. I capitulated and used his bike.

I had decided before the night before to treat the race as a hard workout and not try to push myself too hard, owing to the less-than-ideal bike arrangement and my lack of consistent training time coming into the race. I surprised myself a little and won my age group! Ya! Read on!

Now for the race; the swim was a very protected 1 mile, out and back course in Montauk Lake (or was it Lake Montauk? whatever. It has a misleading name, as it is saltwater) that made for very calm conditions and a very respectable time for myself of 23:00. The swim felt really good; I just cruised and thought about technique and how much longer 2.4 is than 1. I definitely plowed over 2 or 3 women from the prior wave...whoever you are, sorry about that! I didn't see you until it was too late!

T1 was slow for me; oh well.

The bike went pretty well. The course is lovely, easy to follow and didn't have much traffic. You get to bike past the Montauk Point Lighthouse and some small bodies of water, very nice. Again, it would've been nice to be on my own bike and maybe move a bit faster, but I guess I need to keep in mind that regret is for people with time machines. The course was nice and rolling, a few hills but nothing major. The weather was also pretty good; overcast, a bit humid but no scorching sun, wind, rain, and warm enough. A few people passed me but I was able to keep up a decent pace, somewhere around 22 mph, as the 22 mile course took me 59:41 to do.

T2 was much better than T1; 51 seconds instead of 2:46.

The run was hard! Hills! Holy Ham Sandwich! I saw a lot of people that I recognized on the many short out and backs and attempted to greet them but was feeling a bit too spent a few times. Something I do occasionally on the run portions is say something positive to each person that I pass/passes me (hopefully the ratio leans strongly towards the former) and doing that yesterday seemed to help put things in perspective. I crossed the finish line happy with my performance, given the circumstances, and especially happy that I had NOOOOOO:

a.)flat tires

b.)broken chains

c.)cracked frame (happened to my new road bike a week ago)

d.)ninja star attacks

Ya! Results:

Swim: 23:00

T1: 2:46

Bike: 59:41

T2: :51

Run: 43:53

Overall: 2:10:10

38/500? overall

1/22 division

After the race, it was good to hang out a bit with the other members of Team Sunrise Tri who were doing the race. There was talk of setting up a tent but there wasn't any open space to really do that. The sensation of being on a tri team is really pretty awesome, even if I see my teammates somewhat infrequently. I'm looking forward to kindling the same kind of relationships in Seattle after graduation. I would've liked very much to hang out for a bit longer and enjoy Montauk but....there was a very, very large party awaiting us back at school, hence the late bedtime. All in all, a satisfying, extremely sweaty day.

A spill-my-guts

2008-06-04T07:37:00.000-07:00

This morning, I weighed myself after a short hiatus and I weighed 182 lbs. The last time I weighed that much was my sophmore year, 2 years ago. I was shocked and dismayed to see that I have gained thus much weight. I recognize the fact that it is probably a surprise to the reader that me, a healthy, active young guy is having such issues with weight. What issues are they? Disordered, emotional eating and a skewed body image, I would say.

In Hawaii (ahhhh Hawaii) my weight was down around 150. It was an enormously empowering feeling; I was able to say no to junk food, and I was in complete control of everything that I ate, and I was able to consistently train. The pounds seemed to slide off. Granted, at that weight, I felt a bit tired and sluggish sometimes, but it felt good.

My mom and soon to be step-father got wind of this and gave me a hard time about it. They said it wasn't healthy. Whether or not it was isn't relevant to this monologue. What is relevant was the pressure I felt to gain back some weight.

The voice in my head went from telling me to not eat too much, eat healthy, etc, to being able to easily justify to me over eating. My present habit got its start at Taco Bell. It was the first time that I was up past 10 pm in a long while, and the hunger got to me. I ate a lot of Taco Bell. I realize "a lot of food" covers a very wide spectrum, but it was something like 6 burritos and 2 apple turnover things. Then when I got home I stopped by 7-11 and had a snickers ice cream bar and some other ice cream product. This was after I had dinner, too. I felt awful afterwards, and said, well that was dumb. But it felt so good while I was eating. This started a cycle that has lasted until the present of bingeing/gorging myself on all the indulgent food I can get my hands on.

For a time, this habit seemed to have little effect on my weight. I gained 3 or 4 pounds and this seemed like a healthy increase, in fact. But after that first weight gain, I didn't stop over eating. I would routinely gorge myself until I felt sick until late in the evening. Other days I would start first thing in the morning and walk a fine line between nausea and just feeling a bit sick all day along. Often, I would start out healthy in the morning, but some offer of food would get the better of me and I would end the day cramming in the food. The quantity and quality of the food at school certainly has been a factor, but I don't blame anyone else besides myself.

What is it like? It is an addiction. That word is so flagrantly used today, but I've been addicted before, and the sensation, the emotions were the same. Once one portion has been finished off, I'm a calorie-seeking missile, looking for the next fix. So often, I would tell myself:

1.) After this _____(pb&j sandwich, ice cream sandwich, piece of cake, etc), that will be it.

2.) Today is the last day of eating this way.

Telling myself these things so often, and then failing every time to follow through, has made me lose a lot of trust in myself. Which makes it all the easier to just never even try to start.

It's getting to the point where most waking moments not occupied with interaction with others is dominated by the weight of my thoughts on this. The weight consists of resentment, anger, disappointment, discouragement, hopelessness, sadness, dread, shame, and a desire to somehow undo all that I've done to myself. When I walk down the stairs, I can feel the extra weight bouncing up and down, that wasn't there so long ago. Many of my clothes no longer fit. It was a point of pride for me to be able to fit into smaller sizes of clothes. Now I carry with me everywhere the evidence and reminder of my errors.

So where am I now? I need to change some habits. I need to remember that the weight loss, and return to a more healthy state of being, is a process, not a singular event.

Take it as a good sign that I have put all this up for the scrutiny of friends and family. Firstly, it shows that I am not so ashamed that I'm not willing to share, and secondly as a sign of trust in the reader, that he/she will not discount or trivialize my difficulties, or tell me that my 32 lb weight increase is healthy.

What I could benefit from is support.

Job!

2008-05-31T06:43:00.001-07:00

I accepted a position with Glosten and Associates in Seattle as an entry level Naval Architect. This is exciting for the following reasons:

1.) They will pay me money
2.) It is 3 blocks from Pike Place Market
3.) The company has a very friendly, approachable workplace, which I enjoy
4.) The company has an entire cupboard full of teas
5.) I love Seattle

http://www.glosten.com/

Confidence

2008-05-31T06:15:00.000-07:00

My close personal friends, Joe Friel and Gordon Byrn, wrote a book not too long ago about training for Ironman triathlons. One particular comment they made about confidence has been in my mind lately:

"Confidence...is easily lost, usually through our own initiative. Inside each of us is a small voice that likes to criticize. It often points out our shortcomings and limiters. Success comes in large part from merely learning to control that voice while providing constant positive feedback."

How true. I know that many times, that small voice has tripped me up. Sometimes it says skip the workout, other times it gives me a hard time for not having done a workout. It tells me to eat the crap food and then afterwards criticizes me for my lack of self-discipline. It even criticizes other people and shades my impressions of them! The sad part is that all of it is coming from within. The good part is that one can, through patient replacement of those criticisms with positive thoughts, minimize the effect.

The good book sums it up nicely: As a man thinks in his heart, so is he. (Proverbs 23:7)

So what's my point? There are entire books written about this, but my take on it all is this: you become aware of that voice, you seek to minimize it by thinking positively about yourself and others. Why the Cary Grant picture? Because that guy (at least in his movies) was the very epitome of confidence, and really having him for that "little voice" in your head would make one very, very smooth indeed.

2nd Annual Ironclad Race Report

2008-05-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

Race Report
First off....every race is like a joust. You put on a wetsuit/get on a bike/put on some shoes and hope that your equipment doesn't let you down and you beat the other guy(s). As with my last race, my equipment let me down just a little bit....but that's okay. Becuase I was in a triathlon, and I just had to get a new bike, as opposed to being knocked off a horse by a big wooden stick and then beaten over the head with a sword. Read on, dear reader!

The swim went very well. I warmed up just out and back to the first buoy and let that "take your breath away" feeling from the cold water come and go, so I would be acclimated. Made sure to pee in wetsuit too. I wasn't feeling terribly confident about the swim after the fiasco of a swim at the race in galveston, but I surprised myself. I was in the first wave and started with the lead guys. By the first buoy I could see just 3 guys in front of me. I maintained a pretty good stroke the whole time. I mades sure to take frequent breaths, once per stroke almost the whole time, and kept repeating to myself "be greedy with the air" and took big gulps. That seemed to help. The water was cold but not paralyzingly cold. I think I like it cold because it bothers so many people and makes them more nervous, it plays to one of my strengths. Then after the 3rd buoy some guy just went flying past me, don't know where he came from. So came out of the water 5th, not too bad at all, I think.

Transition was good, just over 90 seconds. Started out on the bike, feeling good, 2 dudes passed me as I fiddled with my shoes--need to do that better next time. Then after the first turn, my chain broke! stink! I swore very loudly. Then I started rolling back to webb. Luckily it was almost all downhill. Gary Jensen, a member of Team Sunrise Tri, just happened to be standing at one of the turns, with his bike, which just happened to be the same as mine, albeit a bit (lot) smaller. He asked me if I wanted to use it, I said yes and commented on how fortuitous it was that he was there with his bike. I actually used that word, fortuitous. So I started out again. I think all told this transition took about 6-7 minutes. The bike was a bit too small so I really couldn't extend my legs much, and his pedals kind of worked with my cleats, but it worked, and was able to pass a few people on the bike. I tried not to think about how much further ahead I would've been if it wasn't for that chain....really, it was my fault, as I just finished putting the bike together the night before and hadn't had time for anything more than a quick spin on the trainer to test it out. But finished the bike just fine.

Started the run, I felt very good. I was worried because with the smaller bike, my quads were just killing me on during the ride, but didn't bother me too much on the run. Passed quite a few people on the run, which was good. Knowing the course beforehand, with its many hills and obstacles, was a nice advantage. I ran pretty hard, my 5k time was 22:23, over a minute faster than last year. Probably could've gone even a bit harder. But I crossed with a time of 1:25:something. Last year's time was 1:16:35, so definitely can attribute the difference to the delay/small bike. Looking at the times, if I had the same time as last year, I would've gotten 2nd!!!!! And since I had a faster run and probably would've had a faster bike, maybe even 1st, which was a time 1:13:something. Oh well. Now it's bugging me and is providing a wonderful reason to come back next year...and have no bike issues and win!! I hadn't been thinking of returning next year but now....it's on!

I'm pretty happy with how it all went down...there still are some issues of safety to work out, as evidenced by the fact that one athlete had to be taken to the hospital for a CAT scan after a pretty bad crash. But with any luck next year will not only happen, but will be better than ever.

Going into the race, I was pretty hesitant about making any goals, as I really hadn't had what I felt to be enough consistent training or nutrition. But I surprised myself....I think in nearly all the races, running or tris, that I have done, I've surprised myself by doing better than expected. This is a pleasant trend and one that I hope will continue....in 2 weeks I've got the Mighty Montauk, an Olympic distance tri. I'm pretty pumped for that, especially as we will get to stay at a friend's house very close the race, and later that day is Webbstock!!!! the best party of the year. 12 hours of fun (and for some, AMAZING amounts of alcohol.) Me, I'm just looking forward to the joust.

2008-03-31T13:15:00.000-07:00

Looking pretty confident...or not...for more pictures check out http://picasaweb.google.com/porterbratten/

So! The race was in Galveston, Texas. The swim was in Galveston Bay, 1.2 miles of muddiness. I had decided before the race that I would take it "real easy" so as to not get too tired early on. Well, 3 minutes into it my heart rate was super high (173) so I was trying to make it relax by resorting to back stroke. This didn't work all that great; it wasn't until 18 minutes and 34 seconds into the swim that I was finally able to get my rhythm going and make up some lost time. I finished the swim in 35 minutes, which was exactly what I had predicted, and I was pleasantly surprised by that, given my backstroke and such. It was pretty swell at this race because they have "wetsuit strippers"; you run up to some person, they grab the arms of your wetsuit (which you have already removed from your person, down to the waist) sit on the ground and they whip the whole thing right off you. I picked an attractive young female to strip me.

With that business taken care of, I started the bike. It was an out and back course, to be done twice. The first outbound leg went really well. Galveston is flat as a pancake, so my speed was pretty high, I was passing a fair amount of people, feeling good. I made it to the first turn around, and about 5 minutes later, got a flat tire. Drat! But I said hey what are you going to do. I took the time to wolf down a powerbar, a delightful cinnamon raisin variety, and fixed the flat. I said to myself, ah, well there was the glitch for the day. Let's make up some ground. Then, much to my chagrin, not 3 minutes later, I got...another flat on the other tire. I broke my long standing asylum on cursing, especially in a very loud voice, and then fixed the tire. A bit discouraged, I started out again. I made it back to the transition area to start the second loop, and just as I was making the turnaround, whoopee, another flat. Luckily this time it happened really close to the bike mechanical aid station, so I was quickly fixed up with an entirely new rear wheel. So, I continued and not but 30 seconds had gone by, and ZOUNDS a FOURTH flat tire. I was telling myself as I fixed it again that clearly, in a former life, I had done something heinous..... Anyways, I headed out again.

By this time, I had told myself, the time doesn't matter anymore. You see, I had set a time goal of 5 hours, so that I could qualify for the halfmax national championships, in october in las vegas. By this time I knew that wasn't going to happen. So I made it back out, for the last time, to the turn around point, headed back to the transition area, and not 1 minute had gone by and GADZOOKS the 5th flat. So I gingerly rolled back to the other bike mechanical station and got now a new front wheel. Sweet. Now I was invincible. So I finished the bike, having spent, by my figuring, about 32 minutes stopped or otherwise not going as fast as I would have been. But I had been looking forward to the run.

The run, by comparison, was pretty uneventful. I did go quite fast though...I had a split of 1:34, which included about a minute of walking and a 2 minute potty break (yes, I timed it), which when compared to my stand alone time of 1:30 for a half marathon back in October, wasn't too shabby. No siree. I had a bit of a side ache for a while, and my stomach was putting on its own version of the proletariat revolution and was refusing to operate the necessary machinery, but that kind of passed after a while....They were suppressed. I sprinted the last 3/4 of a mile with a quite attractive 43 year old woman (everybody has their age written on their calf, very helpful). Before she saw my age she asked if I was available...very awkward.

I got a nice free massage afterwards and won a sweet bike computer in the giveaways (Mavic ES), due to having had the most flats. AND, surprise surprise, still qualified for the national championships, in Las Vegas in October, by getting top third in my age group, 10th out of 31. I was 129th overall, out of 600 or so, with a time of 5:19:29, a swim of 35:45, a bike of 3:05:40, and a run of 1:34:36. As near as I can estimate, I spent about 32 minutes stopped, so I **could** have had a time of around 4:47, were it not for those flats...of course, best not to dwell on what might have been. Both my mom and soon to be stepdad came down to watch, it was great to have their support (as well as free hotel room and food). My mom is awesome. Whoo boy! As a last commentary, I could not help but think of good ol' norman stadler's difficulties in 2006. Let us not forget that he just up and quit after 2 flat tires:

Watch it here

All in all I love the half distance! I can't wait to to do another one! It's long enough to really have some strategy, you're not red lining it like in a sprint or olympic. Very fun. Have a good week y'all.

Sports Psycho-Crazy

2007-11-02T15:29:00.000-07:00

This week I made the decision to not do Ironman New Zealand. This was after having trained for it for 3 weeks (not that much time I suppose) but in those three weeks the idea of going across the world and pushing myself that far had lodged itself very well into my mindset. I was viewing most of my life through a set of glasses that had a big M-Dot emblazoned across the front. This wasn't a bad thing, but my life for those three weeks was more one dimensional than normal--sleep, homework, train, eat, feel tired...that about covers it.

I decided to opt out of it for a couple of reasons. First was money. Getting ito New Zealand is not cheap! Neither is the race or staying in New Zealand. This will save a lot of money that can be put to good use in other ways, some of them triathlon related, some of them not. Next is the logistics of getting there from my winter work position, wherever that may be. Lastly was the stress. It was wearing me a bit thin, cramming in the workouts around schoolwork and trying to get enough sleep at night. I know that I could have backed off on the number of workouts, but when I do finally complete an Ironman, I want to prepare for it with quality and quantity. My life isn't allowing for that right now.

I wanted to talk a bit about states of mind. This past week my discipline, as far as eating and training goes, went out the window. Holy cow, I pigged out on Halloween candy. I kept telling myself that this was a cathartic experience, and I mowed through the kisses, reese's and twix. It was a cascade of abandoning discipline, and I didn't like it. My impression after this experience is that unfortunately, perhaps the discipline and structure in my life is too fragile. It depends too much upon reaching quotas of workouts and nutrition requirements. So I have been re-evaluating my reasons for pursuing the sport. Hopefuly what I will find is a renewed dedication to the quality-of-life reasons the prime reasons for anyone to compete.

110.9 miles

2007-10-10T18:10:00.000-07:00

On monday, I rode from home base (Webb Institute in Glen Cove, New York) all the way out to Montauk, which is nearly the entire length of Long Island. It was (nearly) 111 miles, just one mile short of the bike portion of an Ironman triathlon. If you had asked me a year ago, or maybe just a few months ago, if I could do that in something less than an obsenely long amount of time, I would have told you no. But I did it, and by golly it was more or less a reallly long bike ride.